HOLLYWOOD WEEK IS HERE! GROUP WEEK DRAMA!

Imagine performing there? Intense.

DAVID HERE. Hollywood week has arrived! And we couldn’t have wanted more out of it! We got Ellen (more on her later), Andrew Garcia, Crystal Bowersox and other standouts! Also I noticed a lot more terrible performances considering these people were sent through over 100,000’s! I get bad makes for good TV but some of the crap performances were from people whom we saw little from before! Btw, is anyone else getting the feeling that the show is REALLY trying hard to find the next Taylor Swift?? I’m absolutely getting that vibe (Janell Weaver, Charity Vance, Katie Stevens…)

We also said goodbye to some Utterly Horrendous favorites that we had spotlighted during the audition process. One favorite didn’t even go to Hollywood. Danelle Hayes, who was our favorite audition in Denver. Forgot about her, here’s her audition:

Turns out that this beautiful lady had a history that Idol didn’t want to deal with. According to RadarOnline, her rap sheet is fairly extensive (DUI, Marijuana possession). Some of the occurrences were when she was a minor, so they should have been forgiven. Especially considering the fact that these auditions occurred LAST YEAR! They did not have to show her audition at all. They could have left her anonymous, since she wasn’t able to move on in the competition anyway.

Some of the favorites we said goodbye to were:

Erica Rhodes (former Barney kid)

So beautiful, we will see here again in the future.

Bernadette DeSimone

She will definitely be missed by me.

Paige Dechausse

Would have loved to see her go farther into the comp.

Matt Lawrence

(WHY DID YOU LET THEM CHOOSE GWEN STEFANI AS THE SONG???)

Shouldn't have touched Gwen.

The first days of solo performances brought out some great great performances. I’m sure there were some stellar ones that they didn’t air. But I will go on the record and say that the best solo performance EVER on the show for Hollywood Week goes to Andrew Garcia and his incredible rendition of “Straight Up”. Check it out:

RIGHT?!?!

Another stand-out for me was Janell Wheeler. Beautiful and crazy good voice…

Now for the moment we have all been waiting for MONTHS! The anticipation has been building! Ellen has arrived on Idol! It seems like yesterday that we saw this footage from the Ellen show

Here’s a clip from E! News showing Ellen on the judges panel for the first time.

First of all, let me tell you that I have been ecstatic from the beginning about her judging on Idol. I think she is the funniest female comic the world has ever heard. She is Top 10 comedian of all time, and she has proven herself a ratings juggernaut with her daytime talk show. For those reasons alone, I knew this would be an amazing idea. People have been complaining about her as a judge, suggesting that she knows nothing of the music industry and she’s unqualified to judge a singing competition. I argue that by saying as a superstar comedienne for 20 years+, she knows what it takes to be a crowd pleaser. And that is number 1 when it comes to being a pop sensation. As a comedienne she has to have full control of the audience, like a singer. So she knows EXACTLY what to look for in the next American Idol. Lastly, she has been a huge supporter of the contestants, having them on her show after their elimination. So I think the first week of Hollywood gave us a glimpse of how great its going to be having Ellen on the judges panel.

What was that?? U want me to get to the Ground Round!? WELL, OF COURSE!

OH GROUP DAY! HOW I’VE MISSED YOU!! *Stephani will be providing the Top 10 Hollywood moments later* One thing I have a problem with Group Day is that the show is about finding the best performer, not group mate. So why leave your fate up to 2 or 3 other strangers? The group day is only for the drama, and don’t get me wrong: I LOVE THE DRAMA! But a lot of contestants that were great have fallen because of group days. Nonetheless, I love watching Group Days. There are always a few stand out performances. For example this performance of “Irreplaceable” from Michelle Delamor, Ashley Rodriguez, Charity Vance.

Actually, watching it again; not as good as I remember it. haha. But I don’t edit myself. I’m leaving it in, and i’ll just add another video of a group I enjoyed. This is Team Awesome, which is made up of Seth Rollins, Michael Castro (How come he hasn’t been acknowledged once?! Oh cause he goes home after this.),  Michael Lynche, Tim Urban. Unfortunately Seth Rollins was sent packing. I always root for the bigger guys with great voices.

Speaking of DRAMA!!!! Team Neapolitan VS. Destiny’s Wyld!

Wow. This was my favorite storyline of the episode (next to the Mary Powers power-trip over poor Hope Davis). Apparently the very loud Destiny’s Wyld (Theri, Todrick Hall, Jareb Liewer, Siobhan Magnus) feel that Team Neapolitan (Liz Rooney, Thaddeus Johnson, Jessica Cunningham, and Paige Miles) stole their idea of singing Lady Gagas “Bad Romance” A cappella. Btw, I’m going on record as saying Jareb Liewer has become the most annoying contestant with the LEAST amount of stage time! WOW! I didn’t hear him sing til Destiny’s Wyld, but he has been seen screaming and yelling in the background of many episodes. So, I’m going on record as saying I am not a fan of his. With that being said, here are the two videos of both groups performing.

I can’t talk about G-Day and not mention Mary Powers and that mess of a group! Wow. Hollywood week is known for bringing the worst out of people, and here’s hoping that is the worst out of Mary Powers. Not a cute side, at all. Also in that video showed the group of Andrew Garcia, Katie Stevens (Who has been amazing), and J.B Afhua (who has auditioned in the past I think). That group sang the heck out of Alicia Keys “No One” So keep an eye out for that.

Overall, the first week of Hollywood delivered above in talent as well as drama! My continuing frustration with Hollywood week is the number of performances we see. I understand its a matter of logistics, but I’d love to see more than 5 groups perform during group day; or 8 solo performances the first day. I understand they edit the show for us to grow attached to certain contestants, but it’d be nice. That’s all I’m saying.

Well, there you have it! 1st week of Hollywood is in the bag! We have 70+ contestants left to whittle down to 24. By this time next week, we will have our top 24. Unless of course you read spoilers, then you already know. But I’m old fashioned!

Season 9 Audition Wrap Up and Awards!

IT’S A WRAP!

Idol brings the audition season to an end this week!

Did they find the NEXT ADAM LAMBERT?? Probably not.

How about the next David Archuleta?? Yes. Aaron Kelly. Look him up!

David Lew HERE!-After over 100,000 people auditions, American Idol sends 181 hopefuls to be whittled down to 24. This audition season seemed to showcase more sob stories and great singers than ever before. Where in the past it seemed they pushed the bad auditions, this year had a fair blend of good and bad.

There are definitely a lot of standouts (the John Parks, Matt Lawrences, Jermaine Sellers…), but it remains to be seen (unless you are spoiler queen *hint hint* Stephani. The top 24 list is just a Google search away, but I love the suspense of it all. SO I don’t look).

We have contestants with sketchy backgrounds and drama. Like Jermaine Sellers who allegedly pulled a “Music Man” type scheme by scamming local parents by casting a play and charging them “costume fees” and then cancelling the production without a single play produced. Who knows how true those allegations are.

This week also marked the return of Victoria Beckham to guest judge. What is it about British people that make them so good with critiques? She was probably the most helpful judge of the whole audition season. Overall, I wouldn’t mind if she was a permanent fixture on the judges panel.
and now……

——————————————————————————————————————————————–

Top 5

5. Jessica Furmey I definitely remember liking her a lot last year when she auditioned. This year, she ditched the long sleeve flannel for a more sheik look. Her voice was great this time despite the sappy Simon co-written song choice.

4. Haeley Vaughn This spunky teens goal is to be Countrys first black female star (obviously the first male black star being Cowboy Troy *I use the word STAR very very loosely* I can’t wait to hear Haeley sing some ballads, then we can see what her range is like.

3. Crystal Bowersox AKA Dreads I got a good vibe about this girl. I hope she makes utilizes the guitar during Hollywood Week and make it to the Top 24.  Couldn’t find her audition, so here is Crystal singing her audition song live at a cafe somewhere.

2. Mark Labriola In a weird way, he reminded me of Elliott Yamin. I can’t quite put my finger on it. This kid is great though. Loved the song choice (Squeeze- Tempted), one of my favorite songs of all time. I’ve been told several times that he and I look very similar…Which I kinda see. Mark has likability, decent voice and unique look: The Idol Trifecta.

1. Danelle Hayes Wow. I don’t know what it was about this one, but I was literally in tears through this whole audition. Maybe its the parallels of me being an up and coming comic and Danelle being a up and coming singer, but she turned me into an emotional wreck from beginning to end. Barring disaster song choices, a definite Top 12 spot is waiting for her.

Bottom 5

-5. Kimberly Bishop This girl. wow. She was loopy from the beginning. And I’m pretty sure the American Idol logo blocked her gal pal from being shown. And she complimented randy Jackson on losing weight.

-4. Shaddaii Harris On sheer enthusiasm alone, she deserves to be here. She had a swagger on her that screamed “NOTICE ME!” Unfortunately, her voice screamed “IGNORE ME!”

-3. Austin Paul Football and Idol officially don’t mix. The closest it’ll get is Jordin Sparks dad being a former NFL star. This kid has cocky written all over him and Kara was happy to take him down a notch. Austin is majoring in music composition and is a long snapper on his football team. Lets keep it that way.

-2. Adrian Chandtchi AKA 6’8 of Awkward. From the first mention of man flower to his last gasp letting the producers know  to let him know of “any job opportunities. You have my number.” Lets wish Adrian good luck at his next Swim Meet!

-1. Kenny Everett He says his voice is doing a service to his community. That service is death by song, and he is shrinking his communitys’ population every time he sings. He couldn’t believe the judges didn’t like him, so he roams the hallways haunting people with his voice after his audition. Poor people.

#1 AUDITION OF THE WEEK:

Didi Benami

Our next Idol? Possibly.

Kudos to Didi and her beautiful rendition of The Beatles hit “Hey Jude.” Her voice is unique, she has a great look, and her story of her recently passed best friend makes her a triple threat in the competition. Let’s see if she gets out of Hollywood and into the Top 24.

THAT CONCLUDES OUR WEEKLY WRAP UP!! AND NOW…

FIRST ANNUAL UTTERLY HORRENDOUS AUDITION AWARDS!

Best Guest Judge

Neil Patrick Harris

Worst Guest Judge

Joe Jonas

Blank stares and a random "yes." Thats it.

Smartest Auditioner/Highest IQ

Neil Goldstein

Saddest Back Story

Angela Martin

Worst Boob Bounce

Amy Lang

Best Eric Carmen High Note

Jayson Wilson

The “My Mom Would Be Proud” Award

Aaron Fullmer

Best Audition of the Year

Andrew Garcia

https://utterlyhorrendous.wordpress.com/wp-admin/post.php?action=edit&post=513&message=10

Worst Audition of the Year

Jarrod Norrell

There you have it! Congrats to all the winners!

NEXT WEEK IS HOLLY WOOD WEEK AND THE DEBUT OF…….

ELLEN!

Second Week! Top 5/Bottom 5. TWAIN vs CHENOWETH

TWAIN

VS

CHENOWETH

This week takes us to Chicago and Orlando! Despite some DVR issues I was able to watch the episodes at a great friends house (HI! MELISSA! Thanks again! See you at this years finale!) Guest judges this week were Shania Twain (HOT AS EVER! When is she coming out with another album??) and Kristin Chenoweth (Who is the new Cher in the gay community i’m starting to learn). I have to say that I preferred these two to last weeks guest judges (do you remember?? I barely do. Na’vi Victoria Beckham and Mary J. Blige). They seemed to have more fun with the other judges and contestants.

Of both cities, the award for best city has to go to Orlando. Hands down. 31 golden tickets were handed out in Orlando, compared to 13 in Chicago. 13!!? Chicago!? WOW! Thousands show up but only 13 got a ticket. Either they had to slow down their invitations or the preliminary audition part was harder than usual.

Unfortunately this week, we weren’t given anything nearly as memorable or catchy as “Pants on the Ground” Which honestly, will that ever be topped? Probably not. I thought “I Am Your Brother” would never be topped, remember that guy?

but Pants on the Ground has GONE GLOBAL! However, we were treated to a lot great singers! Great singers with terribly tragic stories! Speaking of, we have come up with a fun way for adults to watch Idol!

*IDOL DRINKING GAME ALERT!*

(MUST BE 21 to play the IDOL DRINKING GAME)

Here’s how to play! There are different versions of the game. You can play Good audtion drinking game or Bad audition drinking game.

Good Audition Drinking Game!

Pick your drink of your choice. Set up by pouring 2-3 shots to start. If the person auditioning is good AND cries! TAKE A SHOT! If you really really REALLY wanna get drunk, you must add another shot if the good audition has a sob story! SO tears and sob story = TWO SHOTS! Have fun!!

Bad Audition Drinking Game!

Again, your choice of drink. Set up by pouring 2-3 shots to start. If the person auditioning is bad and curses while in the audition room= TAKE A SHOT! To step up the pace on this game, add another shot IF the person auditioning continues to sing AFTER the judges say no to them!
AND NOW LETS GO TO OUR TOP 5 /Bottom 5 of the week!!!

TOP 5

5. Desimone Sisters (Bernadette and Amanda)– This may be me drawing in the small male demographic who reads this. But here they are, the most beautiful pair of sisters to grace the Idol screen since the O’Donohue sisters from Season 5. Remember them?? Here, take a look to refresh your memory:

Unfortunately, she wasn’t as good as she was beautiful. But the Desimone sisters have some talent. Take a look, and let’s see how far they go!

4. Katelyn Epperly– Beautiful girl with a great voice. I love her look and the way she carries herself. Did I mention she’s gorgeous? I’m predicting her parents will be filmed at one point enjoying their daughter on the show!

3. Paige Dechausse– Another beautiful girl, but with a grittier voice. She sang an all time Idol favorite, Sam Cookes “A Change is Gonna Come.” And she does the best rendition I’ve heard in a long time. And I had never heard a female sing it on the show. To see Paige in the video, cut to 5:56. If you want to skip the back story then go to 6:57.

2. Seth Rollins– He was already a quick favorite since he and I share the same frame and beard look. haha. I also liked he took a Sinatra song and put some soul into it. He could be in the top 12 guys.

1. Matt Lawrence– Wow. What a voice. I have never agreed more with Simon than when he said he believed that he could have written that song, just by the way he sang and interpreted the lyrics. This guy could be “Oil Rig” 2.0! He sings better than Michael Sarver already.

BOTTOM 5

5. Curley Newbern– Started off the Chicago auditions with a terrible high note. He makes my list because I love that song, and he had the audacity to attempt to sing a MAXWELL SONG! At least he handled it well…

4. Brian Krause– HE SINGS TINY TIM? And he literally tip toes through the tulips. Plus he gives new meaning to “Military Intelligence”

3. Theo Glinton– The Black Lady GaGa. He was doing too much from the beginning. From the very first swing of his cape.

2. Harold Davis– Wow. If he didn’t name the song, I would have had NO idea what song he was singing. Ushers “Nice and Slow” WOW. Terrible. But since he wasn’t arrested. No #1 this week for you buddy.

1. Jarrod Norrell– I believe this is the first time an audition has ended in handcuffs. And for that reason alone he made it number 1.

Number 1 Audition of the Week:

JOHN PARK

I was not expecting the voice that came out of John Park. I was expecting typcal R&B flair, but he kicked out something vicious. I was absolutely impressed, and I’m sure we will see him in the Top 24 and beyond.ALSO, he was told by Shania Twain that he has “nice lips and a nice bottom end…” WOW. On that alone, he deserved number 1.

Thats it! Stay Tuned next week when the show heads to Los Angeles and Dallas! And the guest judges are Avril Lavigne *what has she been doing the last 4 years? Besides having a ridiculous amount of views on youtube…? 2nd judge is Katy Perry, a veteran herself of the recording industry and it’s vicious cycles.
Til Next Time!  -DL-