Utterly Horrendous

Venting about Season 9 and Top 12!

Posted in Uncategorized by thedavidlewexperience on March 18, 2010
"TOP" 12

"Top" 12 or Last 12 Left?

David Here! We dropped the ball the last week of the semi’s and didn’t post recaps or opinion columns!! As some of you know, aside from being too into American Idol, I’m a full time stand up comic. In the last few weeks I’ve been in Seattle, LA, San Francisco and Sacramento. So the only parts of Idol I’ve seen have been on Youtube. It does suck not being able to sit down and watch the episodes in their entirety; but when the alternative is performing and being on stage, I gotta pick performing!

Also, this season has been delivering serving after serving of letdown sauce! Andrew Garcia is the guy I’m rooting for week in and week out, but he has been stagnant. Don’t get me wrong, I still enjoyed his rendition of Sugar We’re Going Down and I thought the judges were a little too harsh on him. I also think that Genie In a Bottle wasn’t bad either. I’m not sure what the judges are looking for, except they really loved Straight Up! I mean Straight Up was epic, so would it be out of line for him to do it again if the theme allowed it?? Andrew needs to have a “Billie Jean” moment soon or his days are numbered.

Also I was very disappointed in the Top 12 in general. This probably the most bland Idols Top 12 has been since I’ve been watching (which is Season 4). Can anyone name the Top 12 in its entirety without referring to a web site or rewinding the DVR? Maybe? You’d probably forget Katie Stevens or Lacey Brown or Paige Miles (before she let her love of MJ loose last week) This and Season 6 are the seasons where there haven’t been too many star-making “moments”, just performances. Don’t get me wrong, I still love Jordin and Blake Lewis from Season 6 but the lower half of that season was average at best (except for Brandon Rogers! I still wish he got the words right! He should have been Top 5 easily)

Maybe we’ve been spoiled the last two years with great talents: Adam Lambert, David Cook, Kris Allen, Jason Castro, Syesha, Allison Iraheta, Danny Gokey,  Matt Giraud, David Archuleta

Even though this argument has some holes in it. Yes, you can’t really compare this Top 12 yet to previous years since we haven’t seen their full growth yet. David Cook was just coming into his own Season 7 with his rendition of Hello put him on the Idol map. Matt Giraud was eliminated then brought back last year with their “Why did they get rid of it” Wild Card round. So this Top 12 can’t really be judged until we can actually reflect on the growth of individual contestants once the competition is done.

But I can tell you so far (except for Crystal Bowersox who I can see struggling with some future themes and Andrew in dire need of a “moment”) any of the previous seasons contestants would own and win this years Idol without breaking a sweat.

So the gauntlet has been set for this years Idols! Lacey Brown was the first victim of the Big Stage and its now down to 11! You make it through this elimination you get to Tour with the Idols! So this is a pivotal week, make it count!

DAVID OUT!

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Top 12 Boys! Oh what a letdown.

Posted in American Idol by thedavidlewexperience on February 26, 2010

Andrew Garcia! Jermaine Sellers! Aaron Kelly!

These guys were the voices of Hollywood week! SOOOO WHAT HAPPENED?!?! Everybody was mediocre…except for Casey and Andrew Garcia. More on them later.

We didn’t have any Imagine moments (David Archuleta) or Moodys Mood For Love (Elliott Yamin), Daydream (Jason Castro),or Hello (David Cook). Need a refresher on what an amazing semi-finals performance sounds like.. take a gander

David Archuleta-Imagine

(this is what you with the Pimp spot of the night)

Elliott Yamin-Moody’s Mood For Love

(This is how you sing a difficult song and nail it)

David Cook- Hello

(this is how you establish yourself as a favorite)

Jason Castro- Daydream

(This is how you make up for NO airtime! Come out swingin’!)

Last night we got no performances that will be remember like these, except for Andrew Garcias take on Fall Out Boys “Sugar We’re Goin’ Down”

So lets go in order and re-live these performances, which for the most part weren’t very good.

Todrick Hall – The diva and a half. Took me to hear the chorus to realize what song he was singing. I did not like the arrangement at all. Nice that he took a risk, instead of singing Usher or something that’s been done. Unfortunately the risk didn’t pay off. He may be in trouble.

Aaron Kelly- He became the first victim of these overly sensitive, terribly mixed mics. I guarantee that if he had done that in season 7, that would have sounded perfect and amazing. Something is weird with the sound mix, and Ellen brought it up earlier in the show. I liked Aaron, he lacks confidence and star quality. He’ll make the Top 12 for sure just on airtime and adorable-ness alone.

Jermaine Sellers- The other Diva! But he was by far my favorite male audition of the year. But he tried to do TOO MUCH with his vocals. His voice is so perfect by doing simple riffs. No need to go as high as he does. And WHAT SONG was that?? He would have killed a Ne-Yo song, or remix a song the way he did with Joan Osbourne during his audition. This was my most disapointing performance of the night. I had HIGH expectations.  But he’ll be safe though.

Tim Urban– OneRepublics “Apologize” needs to go in the vault (along with Hearts “Alone) and never be sung again. David Archuleta was amazing with it. Oh Tim Tim Tim. From the first note and weird look into the camera, I knew this was the trainwreck of trainwrecks. And does Tim own a forehead? Can someone tell me? The judges are right, he may be safe because girls like him. We’ll see. He should go home in my book.

Joe Munoz- This was the guy who could have had a Jason Castro moment. He has had little to no airtime at all. So this was his moment to come out and tell America why he is on the show. And he kind of did it. He didn’t vomit on stage, so that was a plus. But no one will talk about this performance next week. I think he maybe in trouble, but I’d like for him to stick around.

Tyler Grady– He got lost in the fray during Hollywood, but he’s got huge personality. For me, his performance is when the show kicked off. Great energy, decent vocals, awesome stage presence. Next week, he has to sing something current and “Visit the mall” like he said. The show and judges are the ones that keep mentioning the “70’s” style”, he doesn’t make an issue out of it. Then they judge him about it… no bueno.  But he’s definitely safe.

Lee Dewyze- The most polarizing performance of the night! The judges were split (Simon LOVED it, the others didn’t. Which is rare) and the bloggers have been split on this guy! He took advantage of what little airtime he had during Hollywood and impressed judges and viewers. I love his natural tone and rasp to his voice. A lot of flat moments in this performance, so it was very frustrating to watch. They need monitors in their ears so they can hear themselves. Easily fixed. I liked his performance mostly based on what his voice is capable of. HE NEEDS TO SING USE SOMEBODY NEXT WEEK! That will be his Imagine or Hallelujah (Jason Castro) moment. Favorite moment of the night: When Ryan asked “What does it feel like, first time performing in front of millons? Lee says: Feels like I never want to lose this feeling…” OH,  He’s safe.

John Park- Wrong song! Wrong song! Wrong song! Last time this song was sung on the show, Katharine McPhee auditioned with it. And that should have remained the last time it was sung. John is my 2nd favorite Korean guy to grace the stage: Big ups to PAUL KIM! But I think this song was a tad better of a choice because it showed more range than Careful Whisper (which is what Season 6’s Paul Kim chose).  Ellen was right, it’s not the song you choose to have all the girls screaming after you. Next week, he needs to pick a song that’s more current that he can make his own! But he’s safe.

Michael Lynche- First question, why did he have a guitar?! He didn’t strum it once, twice maybe? The vocals were ho-hum. I think his personality shone through and that’ll carry him through. But the performance was ho-hum at best.  He needs to sing a ballad next time and just knock it out of the park. Not the John Park. haha. He’s safe.

Alex Lambert- This kid has got such a great tone to his voice, probably one of my favorites. But wow this is the most awkward performance in the semi finals since Jason Yeager season 7 “Moon River.” REMEMBER HIM!?! He should be singing on cruise ships and making really good money!

Back to Alex, he has a great voice, but terribly awkward on stage. So if he stays (which he might), he’ll need to do A LOT of work to stick around again.

Casey James- Did you guys hear about him and Kara? Oh you have? Its because thats all they talk about with him! Which is too bad, because this guy is awesome. What a great look, style and voice! Complete package. If he doesn’t screw up, he’ll go deep into the Top 12. Maybe 5 or 6, but a theme week will be the end for him, I can tell. This was probably my favorite performance of the night besides Andrews. And DEFINITELY my favorite version of Bryan Adams “Heaven” sung on the show. Its been done by David Archuleta and Elliott Yamin (possibly others? Let me know!). But I loved him starting out with the acoustic, great choice. He’s DEFINITELY safe.

Andrew Garcia- My man! The guy who sang “Straight Up” during Hollywood Week. The judges just did not enjoy his rendition of Fall Out Boy’s “Sugar We’re Goin’ Down” and I was floored. I could tell it wasn’t on the level with “Straight Up” but compared to the earlier performances, this was tops. It was original and it showcased his vocals, although I can seem him challenging his vocals even more. Maybe a stripped down Maroon 5 song? But I absolutely dug it, so much in fact HERE’s the performance right here! Oh yeah he’s safe, blah blah. Obviously!

predictions

WHO IS GOING HOME!?

Tim Urban

Tim Urban

Joe Munoz

Just forgettable

And also stephi told me to let you guys know her choices for elimination are TIM URBAN and JERMAINE SELLERS!

So there we go! That’s it for round 1 of Semi-finals! Tonight are the results and a live performance by ALLISON IRAHETA singing Scars!

We’ll see if we were right or wrong!

UNTIL NEXT TIME! THIS HAS BEEN…..

UTTERLY HORRENDOUS!

Season 9 Audition Wrap Up and Awards!

Posted in American Idol by thedavidlewexperience on February 7, 2010

IT’S A WRAP!

Idol brings the audition season to an end this week!

Did they find the NEXT ADAM LAMBERT?? Probably not.

How about the next David Archuleta?? Yes. Aaron Kelly. Look him up!

David Lew HERE!-After over 100,000 people auditions, American Idol sends 181 hopefuls to be whittled down to 24. This audition season seemed to showcase more sob stories and great singers than ever before. Where in the past it seemed they pushed the bad auditions, this year had a fair blend of good and bad.

There are definitely a lot of standouts (the John Parks, Matt Lawrences, Jermaine Sellers…), but it remains to be seen (unless you are spoiler queen *hint hint* Stephani. The top 24 list is just a Google search away, but I love the suspense of it all. SO I don’t look).

We have contestants with sketchy backgrounds and drama. Like Jermaine Sellers who allegedly pulled a “Music Man” type scheme by scamming local parents by casting a play and charging them “costume fees” and then cancelling the production without a single play produced. Who knows how true those allegations are.

This week also marked the return of Victoria Beckham to guest judge. What is it about British people that make them so good with critiques? She was probably the most helpful judge of the whole audition season. Overall, I wouldn’t mind if she was a permanent fixture on the judges panel.
and now……

——————————————————————————————————————————————–

Top 5

5. Jessica Furmey I definitely remember liking her a lot last year when she auditioned. This year, she ditched the long sleeve flannel for a more sheik look. Her voice was great this time despite the sappy Simon co-written song choice.

4. Haeley Vaughn This spunky teens goal is to be Countrys first black female star (obviously the first male black star being Cowboy Troy *I use the word STAR very very loosely* I can’t wait to hear Haeley sing some ballads, then we can see what her range is like.

3. Crystal Bowersox AKA Dreads I got a good vibe about this girl. I hope she makes utilizes the guitar during Hollywood Week and make it to the Top 24.  Couldn’t find her audition, so here is Crystal singing her audition song live at a cafe somewhere.

2. Mark Labriola In a weird way, he reminded me of Elliott Yamin. I can’t quite put my finger on it. This kid is great though. Loved the song choice (Squeeze- Tempted), one of my favorite songs of all time. I’ve been told several times that he and I look very similar…Which I kinda see. Mark has likability, decent voice and unique look: The Idol Trifecta.

1. Danelle Hayes Wow. I don’t know what it was about this one, but I was literally in tears through this whole audition. Maybe its the parallels of me being an up and coming comic and Danelle being a up and coming singer, but she turned me into an emotional wreck from beginning to end. Barring disaster song choices, a definite Top 12 spot is waiting for her.


Bottom 5

-5. Kimberly Bishop This girl. wow. She was loopy from the beginning. And I’m pretty sure the American Idol logo blocked her gal pal from being shown. And she complimented randy Jackson on losing weight.

-4. Shaddaii Harris On sheer enthusiasm alone, she deserves to be here. She had a swagger on her that screamed “NOTICE ME!” Unfortunately, her voice screamed “IGNORE ME!”

-3. Austin Paul Football and Idol officially don’t mix. The closest it’ll get is Jordin Sparks dad being a former NFL star. This kid has cocky written all over him and Kara was happy to take him down a notch. Austin is majoring in music composition and is a long snapper on his football team. Lets keep it that way.

-2. Adrian Chandtchi AKA 6’8 of Awkward. From the first mention of man flower to his last gasp letting the producers know  to let him know of “any job opportunities. You have my number.” Lets wish Adrian good luck at his next Swim Meet!

-1. Kenny Everett He says his voice is doing a service to his community. That service is death by song, and he is shrinking his communitys’ population every time he sings. He couldn’t believe the judges didn’t like him, so he roams the hallways haunting people with his voice after his audition. Poor people.

#1 AUDITION OF THE WEEK:

Didi Benami

Our next Idol? Possibly.

Kudos to Didi and her beautiful rendition of The Beatles hit “Hey Jude.” Her voice is unique, she has a great look, and her story of her recently passed best friend makes her a triple threat in the competition. Let’s see if she gets out of Hollywood and into the Top 24.

THAT CONCLUDES OUR WEEKLY WRAP UP!! AND NOW…

FIRST ANNUAL UTTERLY HORRENDOUS AUDITION AWARDS!

Best Guest Judge

Neil Patrick Harris

Worst Guest Judge

Joe Jonas

Blank stares and a random "yes." Thats it.

Smartest Auditioner/Highest IQ

Neil Goldstein

Saddest Back Story

Angela Martin

Worst Boob Bounce

Amy Lang

Best Eric Carmen High Note

Jayson Wilson

The “My Mom Would Be Proud” Award

Aaron Fullmer

Best Audition of the Year

Andrew Garcia

https://utterlyhorrendous.wordpress.com/wp-admin/post.php?action=edit&post=513&message=10

Worst Audition of the Year

Jarrod Norrell

There you have it! Congrats to all the winners!

NEXT WEEK IS HOLLY WOOD WEEK AND THE DEBUT OF…….

ELLEN!

Wow. It’s been awhile. Best Top 5 EVER??

Posted in American Idol by thedavidlewexperience on April 28, 2009

For those who have been keeping up. It has been a couple weeks since we’ve added any posts to our Utterly Horrendous Blog. LIFE HAPPENS. What can we say?

YOUR TOP 5!

Oh Danny... You are soo boring now. But I stil love you!

Oh Danny... You are soo boring now. But I stil love you!

The Most Consistent Idol this year?

The Most Consistent Idol this year

Is Idol his to lose?

Is Idol his to lose?

Can the only female left be our next American Idol?

Can the only female left be our next American Idol

The judges used the save on him. Could he win the whole thing?

The judges used the save on him. Could he win the whole thing?

This is by far the most wide open Top 5 that the show has ever had. I can’t think of previous Top 5 that comes close. I think right now it’s Adam Lamberts to lose, because of judges pimping and due to girls blind eye to his very real homosexuality. And more importantly, the kid has got pipes (And not just the ones he’s laying.)

Lets look at the very serious competitors.

Danny Gokey– The very early favorite, But he has been suffering from Archuleta Syndrome (A.S. is a disease that strikes many early front runners. Its stunts their growth as an artist throughout the competition. A.S. also causes the contestant to pick very boring and predictable Idol songs). But Danny has been fighting the A.S. and has not been in the bottom 3 the entire year. But the gas in his tank is running out as we get closer to the Finale. We’ll see if he can kick it into overdrive with some memorable performances. Can YOU name a Danny Gokey moment this year??

Matt Giraud– The Soul man this year. He is by far my favorite Idol to listen to in the car. His studio versions of songs are amazing. I don’t think his personality has shone through enough. Also, after every performance the judges feel compelled to mention Adam Lambert and Danny Gokey in Matt Girauds critiques, which is very unfair to him. His song choices have been a bit more adventurous than I would have liked, but at least he takes risks. He went a bit vanilla with Have You Ever Loved a Woman, but I still liked it. Matt is least likely to win, but in any other season, he would have at least placed 3rd.

Kris Allen– What a season this guy has had!? I still feel like this kid made a mistake by mentioning his wife early on. The girls swoon over this guy more than any other guy this year, and the wifey broke their hearts. His versions of songs are creative and very much his personality. My favorite so far has to be Ain’t No Sunshine. That was definitely his “Imagine” or his “Billy Jean” moment.
Allison Iraheta– The little 16 year old that could. This girl is probably the best female rock vocalist the show has ever had. She has hints of Christina Aguilera in her vocal performances. She is the only female left, and if she goes home it’ll be the first Top 4 Guys in IDOL HISTORY! So NO PRESSURE ALLISON! If women gather up and support her, she could definitely sneak into the finale.

Adam Lambert– Wow. This kid has pulled in some performances. People point to Tracks of My Tears has an Idol Moment. But I challenge  you to not be more impressed by his rendition of If I Can’t Have You as one of the greatest in Idol History. He has had more “moments” than anyone this season. But he is also the most polarizing Idol EVER. I have never seen more people hate or love a contestant as much as Adam.  Barring any upsets, he will definitely be in our Finale in May.

Lets take a look at Previous top 5’s and compare!

Season 7

1.David Cook
2.David Archuleta
3.Syesha Mercado
4.Jason Castro
5.Brooke White

At this point we knew it was David and David. No doubt in anyones mind.

You get two David Cook vids

Season 6
1.Jordin Sparks
2.Blake Lewis
3.Melinda Doolittle
4.Lakisha Jones
5.Chris Richardson

eh. I don’t think anyone cared enough this season about the top 5. They were all fairly mediocre. This was my favorite Jordin Performance.

Season 5
1.Taylor Hicks
2.Katharine McPhee
3.Elliott Yamin
4.Chris Daughtry
5.Paris Bennett

Taylor won!? Still the most WTF? Winner of American Idol. Elliott was my favorite and is still my favorite idol ever (tied with David Cook). My favorite performance.

Season 4
1.Carrie Underwood
2.Bo Bice
3.Vonzell Solomon
4.Anthony Federov
5.Scott Savol

Really? It was Carrie Underwood or bust. Bo Bice had a nice following, but he had no chance. Remember ALONE?? Nuff SAID

Season 3
1.Fantasia Barrino
2.Diana DeGarmo
3.Jasmine Trias
4.Latoya London
5.George Huff

I didn’t watch this season, but Youtube clips and just hearing about this season; sounds like it was Latoyas to lose and Jasmine had Hawaii to thank for 3rd place.

Season 2

1. Reuben Studdard
2. Clay Aiken
3. Kimberly Locke
4. Josh Gracin
5.Trenyce

I’m going to need Stephanie C to chime in on this season and season 1 because I didn’t follow the show too well back then. But it doesn’t seem like Josh Gracin ever had a chance of winning, neither did Kim or Trenyce.

This is the only song I think of when I hear about season 2.

Season 1

1. Kelly Clarkson
2. Justin Guarini
3. Nikki Mckibbin
4.Tamyra Gray
5. RJ Helton

I’m pretty sure it was Kellys to lose. Even though I love RJ Heltons performance of I’ll be there.