Los Angeles + Dallas = big states, big personalities

Stephani here giving you the latest roundup in Idol audition awesomeness… Los Angeles and Dallas. Two very dynamic cities, known for widely different demographics. The two biggest states in the lower 48 [as we Alaskans call it]. What can we expect??

Well, for one, here are some of the Idol alums that have come out of these two audition cities in previous seasons…

From Dallas… Kelly Clarkson, the O.G.

Jason Castro, laid-back dreadhead from season 7

And from LA… Adam Lambert, last season’s glittery diva

Katharine McPhee, singer/actress/runner-up from season 5

So I think it’s fair to have some high hopes from these two cities, no? We had four interesting guest judges to choose from as well…

In LA we had Avril Lavigne [circa. 2002] and Katy Perry!

And in Dallas… the one and only Neil Patrick Harris and Joe Jonas [the “cute one” from the Jonas Bros.]

So I think it’s safe to assume that the theme for the LA guest judges was “quirky but sexy female singers with questionable fashion sense”, and the theme in Dallas was “pretty singer/actors who are sex symbols to both men and women”. I think that sounds about right.

So now… my Top 5 auditions of the week. In random order.

5.) Kimberly Carver, Dallas

I really liked her jazzy style, she sang her own song and it wasn’t a massive trainwreck! Most people sing some pretty terrible originals [except General Larry Platt, of course] but she sounded quite awesome. Simon wasn’t a fan, but he really isn’t into the non-cookie cutter females as it is.

4.) Erica Rhodes, Dallas

She was a child actor on “Barney and Friends” [not gonna lie, I Googled her to see if I recognized her] and now wants to show her “sassy adult” side to the judges, lookin’ all dominatrixy and wielding a fierce whip… which was an effective gimmick that did not use the overdone “I was sick once in my life and now I’m gonna tell Ryan Seacrest” hook. And she sang En Vogue! What a wonderfully nice 90s-esque audition. Oh, and she was really good, too.

3.) Mary Powers, LA

I seriously liked her… whether it was the 80s-grunge-punk thing she had going, or her spot-on Pat Benatar, or her awesome eyeliner, I thought she was great. And her snarky daughter was hilarious. More kids should be junior Simon Cowells.

2.) Chris Golightly, LA

Chris had a sad life, y’all. He was an orphan. Which is no laughing matter but it doesn’t surprise me that almost every good singer this year had a crappy life. He looks like an albino Justin Guarini and he sang “Stand By Me“! That will certainly tug every heartstring in America. But in all seriousness, I liked him a lot. And I really hope he shows some artistry instead of becoming Danny Gokey v. 2.0.

1.) Andrew Garcia, LA

This guy is getting a lot of buzz, and rightfully so. And I can even respect his “sad backstory” hook – his parents were in gangs, he was raised in Compton [that place is no laughing matter]. And he sang “Sunday Morning” by Maroon 5 almost better than the original. I think people will remember him.

And now for the bottom 5 of the week… also in random order.

5.) Austin Fullmer, LA

Okay, I could not stop laughing at this kid, he reminds me of one of my best friends [who is addicted to speed metal], is trying to channel Mick Jagger and is for some reason singing a Cheap Trick song with a severe British accent. Hilarity at its best.

4.) Vanessa Johnson, Dallas

[couldn’t find video, here’s a pic, thanks TopIdol!]

Please put away all that pink. No one in their right mind wears hot pink eyeshadow. And your highlights confuse me.

3.) A.J. Mendoza, LA

Okay so apparently this kid really can sing, but he did himself no favors here. He chose a semi-obscure rock song [‘Cult of Personality‘ which I know best from Guitar Hero 3] and tried to rock it while name-dropping Adam Lambert. Didn’t work, kiddo.

2.) Jason Greene, LA

He looks like an even more androgynous Johnny Weir and sang the only song the Divinyls are known for, ‘I Touch Myself‘. No one who sings this song should expect to be taken seriously.

1.) Julie Kevelighan, Dallas

Okay first of all, this chick auditioned in Season 1 [!!!] and was TERRIBLE then. I remember she sang a hilariously awful version of ‘Lady Marmalade‘  and told the judges she had a vocal coach. Uh huh. Well, nine seasons later and nothing has really changed, except this time she had a big sign, a bedazzled turquoise cocktail dress and way too much shimmery eyeshadow. And she sang ‘Black Velvet‘ this time, because it hasn’t been massacred enough at karaoke bars around the country already.

Share your thoughts in the comments!

Paula has left American Idol. Lets talk replacements.

I never thought I’d live to see the day…

OK, that was way more traumatic than it needed to be.

Paula Abdul announced on her Twitter (really?)

I’m still not sure how I feel about this. Obviously for better or worse she was a fixture on this show. She was one of the stars of the show. You may have loved her or hated her, but she made you feel something in the end. Her slurring of words and obviously pre-written reviews are legendary, just look at this clip.

So far the show has guest judges planned. The rumors have been running rampant on what the plans are once we get to semi’s and top 12. Here’s a list of confirmed guest judges:

Mary J Blige will be the guest judge for the Atlanta Auditions

Victoria POSH Beckham has already guest judged the Boston Auditions. No future appearances have been scheduled

Katy Perry has supposedly commited to appearing. No word on which shows. I wouldn't mind her, if she kissed a girl or two.

She has my vote! As long as she dresses and stands like this for every episode.

Not Queen Latifah herself. Her breasts are both considering being guest judges for seperate episodes.

THIS IS MY CHOICE! TOMMY LEE AS GUEST JUDGE! HELL YES

Thoughts???