Utterly Horrendous

Venting about Season 9 and Top 12!

Posted in Uncategorized by thedavidlewexperience on March 18, 2010
"TOP" 12

"Top" 12 or Last 12 Left?

David Here! We dropped the ball the last week of the semi’s and didn’t post recaps or opinion columns!! As some of you know, aside from being too into American Idol, I’m a full time stand up comic. In the last few weeks I’ve been in Seattle, LA, San Francisco and Sacramento. So the only parts of Idol I’ve seen have been on Youtube. It does suck not being able to sit down and watch the episodes in their entirety; but when the alternative is performing and being on stage, I gotta pick performing!

Also, this season has been delivering serving after serving of letdown sauce! Andrew Garcia is the guy I’m rooting for week in and week out, but he has been stagnant. Don’t get me wrong, I still enjoyed his rendition of Sugar We’re Going Down and I thought the judges were a little too harsh on him. I also think that Genie In a Bottle wasn’t bad either. I’m not sure what the judges are looking for, except they really loved Straight Up! I mean Straight Up was epic, so would it be out of line for him to do it again if the theme allowed it?? Andrew needs to have a “Billie Jean” moment soon or his days are numbered.

Also I was very disappointed in the Top 12 in general. This probably the most bland Idols Top 12 has been since I’ve been watching (which is Season 4). Can anyone name the Top 12 in its entirety without referring to a web site or rewinding the DVR? Maybe? You’d probably forget Katie Stevens or Lacey Brown or Paige Miles (before she let her love of MJ loose last week) This and Season 6 are the seasons where there haven’t been too many star-making “moments”, just performances. Don’t get me wrong, I still love Jordin and Blake Lewis from Season 6 but the lower half of that season was average at best (except for Brandon Rogers! I still wish he got the words right! He should have been Top 5 easily)

Maybe we’ve been spoiled the last two years with great talents: Adam Lambert, David Cook, Kris Allen, Jason Castro, Syesha, Allison Iraheta, Danny Gokey,  Matt Giraud, David Archuleta

Even though this argument has some holes in it. Yes, you can’t really compare this Top 12 yet to previous years since we haven’t seen their full growth yet. David Cook was just coming into his own Season 7 with his rendition of Hello put him on the Idol map. Matt Giraud was eliminated then brought back last year with their “Why did they get rid of it” Wild Card round. So this Top 12 can’t really be judged until we can actually reflect on the growth of individual contestants once the competition is done.

But I can tell you so far (except for Crystal Bowersox who I can see struggling with some future themes and Andrew in dire need of a “moment”) any of the previous seasons contestants would own and win this years Idol without breaking a sweat.

So the gauntlet has been set for this years Idols! Lacey Brown was the first victim of the Big Stage and its now down to 11! You make it through this elimination you get to Tour with the Idols! So this is a pivotal week, make it count!

DAVID OUT!

CONFIRMED: SIMON IS LEAVING AMERICAN IDOL! NOW WHAT!?

Posted in American Idol by thedavidlewexperience on January 13, 2010

THE NEWS WE HAVE ALL BEEN WAITING TO HERE CONFIRM:

SIMON IS GONE AFTER SEASON 10!

After weeks and weeks of speculation, we have received the confirmation we have all been looking for. Simon Cowell, arguably the face of American Idol has decided to abandon the ship he helped bring to the docks of America. He’s leaving his current $36mil a year salary for possible greener pastures at the helm of his own show, The X Factor.

The X Factor is the competition show that Simon created as a replacement for Pop Idol in the UK. The main differences between the two shows is that the competition is between groups AND individual singers. Also, the four judges act as mentors throughout the show. In the UK, The X Factor has been a massive ratings hit, launching the career of Leona Lewis (who is the only X Factor artist to hit big stateside).  Simon and his company Syco TV are hoping to duplicate their success here.

Is it a gamble worth taking for Simon? A lot of people believe that Idol is on it’s way down and this is the perfect time for him to make this move. He owns the brand, so he stands to make a lot more money if the show is a success. That magic word: IF!

We have seen many competition shows try and fail to become the next American Idol.

  • The One: Making a Music Star- its first episode, on July 18, 2006, scored the second-lowest audience ever for a premiere episode on a major U.S. broadcast network.
  • Making The Band- Originally started on ABC (same as The One) and the first season brought the world O-Town. 2nd season moved to MTV and the group Danity Kane was formed. Arguably the most successful singing competition next to American Idol. I don’t count Americas Got Talent since they include all types of performers.
  • Grease: You’re the One that I want- Aired on NBC. The competitions goal was to choose the leads for the Broadway production of Grease. This was fun to watch. I enjoyed this one.
  • Can You Duet- Aired on CMT. Never saw it.
  • Nashville Star- Eh.
  • Next Great American Band – Fox. Lame.
  • Rockstar- Two seasons on CBS. 1st season had the band INXS looking for a lead singer. 2nd season had a “super” group look for a lead singer. Daughtry auditioned the 1st season and didn’t make it.
  • Sing Off- Newest singing competition on NBC hosted by Nick Lachey. It wasn’t bad. But it was too vanilla. No drama, and forced storylines. One storyline was a girl struggling with acid reflux. Really?
  • Pussycat Dolls presents: Search for the Next Pussycat Doll- Pretty girls, trashy girls, definitely drama. But in the end, no one cared who joined the Dolls.
  • American Juniors – REMEMBER THAT trainwreck?

IM SURE IM FORGETTING SOME! If I did, then leave a comment with the shows that I missed!

The point I’m making is that American Idol has not only survived the competition but it is still the number ONE show on television. The X Factor is going to need an amazingly charismatic host to duplicate Seacrests success. The judges have to be legit, and most importantly the talent has to be there. Oh, and drama too.So even though Simon is associated with this next show, a lot of things have to fall into place to find lightening in a bottle again. American Idol wouldn’t have been nearly as popular had it kept its original name “Pop Idol.” The show premiered in 2002, less than a year after 9/11. To show solidarity and patriotism, they changed the name to American Idol. That little change, change the course of history.

We have another year to see if The X Factor gamble will pay off in the end. But in the mean time:

ITS SEASON 10 TIME BABY!!!

New Idol Singles! Allen, Iraheta, Castro, Lewis, Yamin and more!

Posted in American Idol by thedavidlewexperience on October 6, 2009

A lot of you have been hoping to hear singles from past Idols. And I’ve accumulated them all here. I’ve been particularly waiting for Jason Castro since I felt like he was very marketable and could have a great career with a Mraz-y feel.

Jason Castro- Let’s Just Fall in Love Again. Definitely one of my favorite Idol singles. It suits him perfectly. I could have done without the whistling in the beginning. But this kid should get a lot of notice. Unfortunately, his release date is the same as Adam Lambert. What was his label thinking???

Kris Allen “Live like we’re dying”– This one leaves me wanting a little more. It’s actually a cover from an Irish band The Script. And the two versions are exactly the same. Too bad he couldn’t have his single be something original. But hey! Thats the Idol Machine for you. Check out both versions here.

Allison Iraheta “Friday I’ll be over U”- This is a preview to her single, and I gotta say it’s perfect for her and her demo. It’s catchy enough to get some others into it that normally wouldn’t. I’m actually pretty excited for her album.

Elliott Yamin “You say” Anyone who knows me knows that Elliott is my favorite idol (along with David Cook). So I support him whenever I can. This song is amazing. Love the beat, vocals are perfect obviously. Check out his 2nd album Fight for Love!!

David Cook “Come back to me” – This song and “Life on the Moon” are my favorite songs on the album! I’m glad he released it as a single. Just an amazing radio-friendly hit. I’m sure he doesn’t need any more help promoting his music, but here ya go.


Blake Lewis “Sad song”- Always been a huge fan of Blake Lewis. His style, beat-boxing, all awesome. His debut album got a lukewarm response. I just think they picked a bad lead single. I think they should have jumped on How Many Words. Great song. Break Anotha wasn’t strong enough… BUT I DIGRESS. He has a new album out, with the best album title this year — Heartbreak on Vinyl—  I love that title for some reason!

That’s it for now! If I missed any Idols that don’t get enough attention, let me know! BTW, STILL NO WORD ON AN ADAM LAMBERT SINGLE! YOU’LL GET HERE FIRST!

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The finale LIVE-BLOG! by Stephani <3

Posted in American Idol by midwesterntransplant on May 21, 2009

Out of courtesy to my West Coast readers, I delayed posting until now. You’re welcome.

[I’m watching this on Tivo so the times would not be accurate. So I will be updating with bullet points.]

Here we go…

– Opening montage of Kris vs. Adam from last night. Cue dramatic freeze-frames, spotlights, overpraise from the judges and Ryan Seacrest doing what he does best.

– Adam and Kris in white! Love them. SO sexy.

– Kimberley Locke and Janice “Muppet Face” Dickinson are in the audience!

100 million votes, kiddos… Ryan’s voice just cracked at that insane number.

– Randy Jackson is dressed like a black Howdy Doody. I wish I was kidding. Cue montage of him saying “for me, for you” over and over AND OVER AGAIN in his judging.

– New judge Kara DioGuardi and a montage of her patronizing habit of calling bad auditioners “sweetie” and/or “honey”. I hate people who do that.

– Paula “Vicodin and vodka” Abdul and a montage of her using freaking SAT words. Are you guys NOW convinced that bitch reads from a script?? Was she ever this articulate before? No.

– Simon looks bored. But here’s a weird montage of him saying “what?” over and over again. I don’t get it.

– Helloooo Carrie Underwood. Nice prom dress.

– Some fix Kris’ mic please. Oh wait, Adam’s is all wonky too. This show rakes in how much money and they can’t get this right?

– Oh hai Mikalah Gordon in Conway, AR. Why is this bitch on my TV and why is she interviewing a three year old?

– The less also-ran Carly Smithson is in San Diego for Adam’s crowd… she’s less annoying than she was last year, somehow.

– OMG “So What” from Pink! I can’t help but love this song… and I am completely amused at the lack of the “I guess I just lost my husband” line. I think this is the first and last time we’ll ever hear the word “tool” on this show in that context. Megan looks bored, Scott looks lost, Adam and Allison look rawker, Jorge is running around the stage, and Michael is pointing at me. Oh look, Jasmine got a mini solo. I almost forgot about her. And Alexis is finally wearing pants.

– Hello David Cook… singing his new single “Permanent” in honor of his recently deceased brother. I think he wore this outfit on Mariah Carey night last season. Either way, I love him… this is a beautiful song. There’s nothing but raw emotion here. I wonder if the black armband he’s wearing is for his brother?

– Hello Justin Guarini and Michael Johns. Two guys I thought were super hawt in their respective seasons.

Golden Idols! This always turns out to be full of LOLs.

– Okay, other than Norman Gentle, I don’t remember any of these guys… “I’m staying… I AM STAYING….” *cue molestation of the Idol logo* “Takes one to know one, sassy pants!” Oh I loved him. And Norman Gentle wins the Golden Idol… says he doesn’t even have a speech planned… uh huh… and OFF comes the clothes and here he is in his super random Norman Gentle attire… for whatever reason, this never gets old for me.

– Has anyone ever laid down on the Idol steps before?? Nice shoutout to the “lady in the purple shirt”…

Lil Rounds and Queen Latifah duet. Nothing interesting to see here… no really. That was incredibly boring.

Anoop and Alexis are starting in on the amazing “I’m Yours” by Jason Mraz…. and hello, Mr. Mraz. Weird facial hair aside, I effing love this guy and want to do him. The three of them sound really quite fabulous together. And with the rest of the finalists, I think this may be my most favorite finale group sing… or at least in the top three.

– The journey of Kris Allen… was quite a journey indeed. These montages always make me get all teary eyed… Smokey loved him, Jamie Foxx loved him, Kara said he was a dark horse. And don’t even get me started on all of his adorable shocked faces when he advances to a bigger level. I heart him.

– Kris is singing with Keith Urban… not gonna lie, this song does absolutely nothing for me.

– The ladies are singing the popular about two years ago “Glamorous“… and lordy, is Megan the worst sounding contestant the top 12 has ever seen? Because I can find NO redeeming factor in her voice.

– I’m so over Fergie and the Black Eyed Peas. Seriously dudes. I love her heels, but I hate this song. Allison is wearing THE cutest dress, though.

– Another Golden Idol for “best attitude” or some crap… featuring Bikini Skank, methface girl and some other freak… and Bikini Skank wins and comes on stage in another bikini and OMG HELLO FAKE TITS. Simon even said “wow”. And he’s jaded.

“I was gonna ask you what’s new, but I think I know.” Oh Seacrest, how I love you. You earn that insane paycheck.

– Skank is butchering Mariah again like she did in her audition… somewhere Mariah is like “oh HELL NO”.

– Well hello Kara… I don’t like you, but you sound a hell of a lot better than Bikini Skank, who does not look thrilled at being upstaged. In the audience, David Cook approves.

– I love that Allison is singing a slowed-down acoustic version of “Time After Time” with Cyndi Lauper. I still don’t believe she’s 17. This is probably the most spot-on duet in a number of seasons.

– Kris’ parents are so freaking adorable. Although Mama Allen really shouldn’t be wearing that dress. Adam’s parents look a little more “city”… but still adorable.

Danny Gokey sings “Hello” by Lionel Richie and all I can think is “I miss David Cook.” Man, Lionel has aged really well. As much as I love his songs… this has to be the cheesiest duet EVER.

– The screams for Adam were WAY louder than those for Kris.

Adam’s journey on Idol as set to “Viva la Vida”. And I don’t know but I think Adam has invested in some serious ProActiv since his audition. God he’s bloody sexy.

– Okay, anyone who still thinks Adam is straight after seeing him in this ensemble is freaking blind. It looks like “The Crow” mated with “Rocky Horror Picture Show”.

OMG KISS! Do I really need to say more?? Other than the fact that Adam is completely holding his own with these guys…

– Hello Carlos Santana… I think this is the closest thing Matt will have to a solo tonight, which is no bueno. And now all the Idols are decked out in red and black singing “Smooth“. Adam and Kris pull off the sexy, while Jorge and Gokey make a worthy attempt. Looks like Alexis is back to not wearing pants. Allison and Adam are so BFFworthy together. I love that blind Scott is making more of an effort than Megan is. I’m seriously worried he’s about to fall off the stage.

– This Ford video shows even more that Adam and Kris are the best top two EVAH.

– Scruffy looking David Cook surprises the dudes with their own new Ford Fusion, and both guys know what’s going on pretty much immediately.

– Steve Martin and his completely random banjo skills join Megan and Michael in a duet. Wow, Michael is making me forget that I never liked him. He sounds great here, and he’s so freaking adorable too. Aww.

*cue quote from “Armageddon”*

“And this is the best that you – that the government, the *U.S. government* can come up with? I mean, you’re NASA for cryin’ out loud, you put a man on the moon, you’re geniuses! You’re the guys that think this shit up! I’m sure you got a team of men sitting around somewhere right now just thinking shit up and somebody backing them up! You’re telling me you don’t have a backup plan, that these eight boy scouts right here, that is the world’s hope, that’s what you’re telling me??”

– The guys are completely unconvincing while singing “If You Think I’m Sexy“… except Kris and Adam. Man, did we EVER pick the right two out of that group of dudes. Stop riffing, Matt. I love that Adam’s glory note drowns out everyone else.

– Damn, Rod. You’re sounding rough. Like, REALLY rough. Dig the used car salesman jacket.

– One last Golden Idol award! Oh hey Tatiana Del Toro. I’m pretty sure that “batshit crazy” is too nice of a description for you.

– I am still trying to figure out of this is scripted. I seriously have NO IDEA. Ryan told Tatiana not to come on stage but she does anyway, followed by two unsuccessful stage hands. If this is staged, Ryan deserves an Academy Award, because I honestly have no idea if it is or not. LOL at Ruben in the audience looking scared and/or confused.

“Both are victorious.” Best description ever. Kris and Adam’s duet on “We Are The Champions” … I think this is always the part of the finale that makes me all emotional…. WELL HELLO THERE QUEEN! Gokey, THIS is how you duet. Even though Adam is more bombastic, it’s still a duet and not a showdown. They truly respect and care about each other, and that’s so much fun to watch.

– And here we go to the actual results… Simon tells the guys they’re both brilliant, incredibly nice people and should be proud of what they’ve achieved.

KRIS ALLEN WINS! The finalists all look incredibly thrilled, Adam swoops him up in a huge hug. Kris is basically like, “are you freaking kidding me?” and continues to be speechless and humble and … oh wow, Simon is definitely NOT standing for Kris.

– Oh geez, does Kris really need to sing this crap song? Can’t he sing “Falling Slowly” or something? Oh well… he looks so adorable and overwhelmed. I can safely say that this is the first season of Idol where the winning Idol was someone I never once envisioned actually WINNING. But I couldn’t be more thrilled. Congrats Kris.

– And on a final note… Jorge has gotten a LOT of face time tonight! You go, Puerto Rico.

the “other dude” as your American Idol? I think it’s possible.

Posted in American Idol by midwesterntransplant on May 20, 2009

Here’s why Stephani thinks Kris will win tomorrow night.

This has been a very disjointed season. We’ve had a new judge, a “Judge’s Save” that was used more for the purpose of boosting ratings and creating drama, a top 13 and an unprecedented switch to the old semi-finals format. One would say, after the success of season 7, if it’s not broke why fix it? But with a top 2 unlike anything Idol has really ever seen, maybe it all makes sense.

The semi-finals were a wash. It was scripted to a T. We knew who the producer’s favorites were – the three who got pimp spots at the end of each round. Bloggers around the country were predicting by and large a Danny, Adam and Lil final 3. The “wild card” round was stacked to the brim with even more producer faves, including Anoop, Matt Giraud, Megan Joy and Jasmine. All four of which got through without a hitch.

In fact, one could argue that if Jasmine and Matt hadn’t chosen Sara Bareilles and Coldplay, respectively, on round 2 night, Kris and Allison wouldn’t even be a glimmer in the Idol fanbase’s eye. They were not pimped. We barely saw their auditions and their work in Hollywood. I mean, for the love of God, Kris sang a freaking Michael Jackson song, and Allison sang a song Carrie Underwood completely owned in season 4. Yet, they got through from the votes of the American public – surely, we saw something the producers [and, likely the test audiences] didn’t see, right?

Of course we did.

Allison, at a shockingly young age, did what Diana DeGarmo couldn’t do in season 3 – showed maturity and grit to back up her flawless vocals. Her performances of “Papa Was a Rolling Stone” and “Give In To Me” showed that she was probably a 40-year-old hard-lived groupie in a previous life. Kris, as cute and harmless as he seemed, busted out some intense chops and emotion when he nailed “To Make You Feel My Love” and “Ain’t No Sunshine” early on.

Don’t get me wrong, amidst all this, Adam was shocking the nation – his “Ring of Fire” was watercooler fodder for weeks and his subdued “Tracks of My Tears” had the songwriter, the immortal Smokey Robinson, on his feet and overwhelmed with emotion. His “Mad World” earned a standing O from the man who rarely even applauds for the contestants.

Meanwhile, Lil floundered on the big stage and finally fizzled out, whereas Danny’s smugness and inability to bring relevance and artistry to the Idol stage brought his inevitable boot at top 3, when most of the world had ultimately accepted the fact that he’d be in the final 2 with Adam, as it was predicted on top freaking 13 night by Paula [script much?].

But here we have Kris, who, against every Idol roadblock in the book, has made top 2 and – gasp! – has a really, REALLY good chance at winning. He’s the quintessential underdog. There’s been no arc planned for him. He’s doing what Elliott Yamin and Jason Castro failed to do – he has survived this, and he has only improved.

With all thsoe pesky non-singing ability factors in play [i.e. the Red State vote, the Christian vote, the “cute guy” vote] as well as his improvement, I think he’ll win. And as a fan of the underdog, I couldn’t be happier.

Why Adam Lambert could Win American Idol!!

Posted in American Idol by thedavidlewexperience on May 18, 2009

5 reasons why could will win Idol.

1. Castro District (San Francisco)

They are all rooting for Adam. Except the ones who think Kris is cuter.

They are all rooting for Adam. Except the ones who think Kris is cuter.

They have long been waiting for a new hero. And since Milk was the story of last year and first half of this year; It is time for Adam Lambert to take his place at the throne of Castro!

Scoot Over. There's a new Queen in town....and his name is....

Scoot Over. There's a new Queen in town....and his name is....

ADAM LAMBERT! BOW TO YOUR MAJESTY!!

ADAM LAMBERT! BOW TO YOUR MAJESTY!!

2. Clay Aiken Fans

These people love a contestant who aren’t allowed to tell the televised audience that they are gay during the show. They feel the contestants plight so they rally behind them so they can win.

Unfortunately the pack of Obese fans for Reuben was way too powerful of a tidal wave.

"We voted for Reuben. Then we bought these to celebrate his victory"

"We voted for Reuben. Then we bought these to celebrate his victory"

3. The closet gay vote.

"Are you voting for Adam? Me too."

"Are you voting for Adam? Me too."

How many men are there that are still in the closet just in love with Adam Lambert living their flamboyant Broadway dreams!?? They tell their wives that he is just a gifted singer but “totally gay” in a deragotory way. But in reality, they long for the days where they can stop being Insurance claims adjusters, break out the guy-liner and sing Wicked! Thats why they love Adam.

4. Broadway

Every poster is yelling "ADAM! ADAM! ADAM!"

Every poster is yelling "ADAM! ADAM! ADAM!"

How many Broadway singers feel that they don’t get their credit? Every time they hear Simon snarl “That was too Broadway. Too musical. Now get out of my face.”, they feel a slap in the face! Here is their chance to fight back. One of their own is going to show Simon that not only are Broadway singers amazing, but they can also be commercially viable in the current music state. TAKE THAT SIMON (says the chorus line member flipping him the finger. Using their jazz hand.)

5. Fag Hags/Fruit Flies

Grace was SUCH a fag hag!

Grace was SUCH a fag hag!

Wikipedia lists their definition as follows:


“Fag hag
is a gay slang phrase referring to a woman who either associates mostly or exclusively with gay and bisexual men”

In Adam, every one of these FH/FF’s see their current BFF. They love sitting on the couch next to their gay pal and listen to them fawn over Adam Lambert and his leather pants! All the while secretly wanting to vote for Kris Allen because they actually are attracted to him! But their gay pal checks their text votes to make sure they are voting for Adam.

SO THERE YOU HAVE IT!!!!!!!

Tune in Tuesday/Wednesday to see it all go down!

Then look out for our Idol Season 8 wrap up blog!!

KRIS ALLEN will be our new American Idol! Yeah, you heard me.

Posted in American Idol by thedavidlewexperience on May 16, 2009

That’s Right. Kris Allen will win Idol.

Normally I do not go back on my word. When I make a prediction, I stick with it 99.9% of the time. I predicted Jordin Sparks early on, and I proudly predicted David Cook winning during the semi final rounds after his Hello performance. Have you seen it?? Here you go.

So this year, I’ve predicted that Adam Lambert will win this year, but I also made mention that this was the most wide open it has ever been on the show. And I must admit; I had envisioned a Danny/Adam lame showdown. Where Adam would have won easily.
But here we are. Danny vs. Kris. Bad Boy vs. All-American Boy. hmmm… And I have changed my vote. Kris Allen will win this year, and I will give you 5 reasons WHY!

5 Reasons why Kris will win!

1. FEMALE VOTE– The ladies do love Adam, like they would love to hang out with Ross the Intern, any guy on the Style Network, or Neil Patrick Harris. HOWEVER, real women have real love for Kris Allen. I’ve heard this sentence dozens of times during the course of this season.

“Oh the things I would do that Kris. If he only knew…”

Which was followed by drool and many low growls aimed at the screen during his performances. The young women will turn out in droves next week for Kris Allen. The “fag-hags” will vote once or twice for Adam, but they will ultimately follow their female sexual instinct and vote Kris.

2. Older Lady Vote– Older ladies out there…. Who would you rather have you daughter/granddaughter bring home to dinner??? THIS…

LOL. Or this…

What a good lookin' wholesome guy huh?

What a good lookin' wholesome guy huh?

Nuff Said. Grandmas and moms will be falling over each other to vote for this boy next door!

3.The homophobic Vote– I live in California, so I don’t see it as much. But apparently a lot of the country still has a problem with gays… *aWWkward* SOOO. with that said, they will not be voting for Miss Adam Lambert when their other option is the very happily married Hetero Kris!

4. Never been a West Coast Winner! In the 8 year history of the show, the west coast has NEVER had a winner. Jordin Sparks is as close as we’ve gotten (shes from Arizona). For some reason, California doesn’t rally around their Idol hopefuls. I think it’s because we are already media savvy and understand fleeting celebrtay, so we aren’t as impressed with contestants on a reality show. *We still apologize for Katharine McPhee. We shouldn’t have let you lose to Taylor Hicks. I’m still reeling with guilt*

Which leads me to my last point!

5. Kris is from the South!

– That’s right people! This will be the reason he will win Idol. Arkansas is in love with Kris Allen! The south is in love with Kris Allen. Most of the Idols of Idols Past have been from the Midwest/Southern parts of the US. (I refuse to mention Season 5 winner…I throw up every time)

Thats my favorite idol winner. Hands down. He's from Blue Springs. Missouri

Thats my favorite idol winner. Hands down. He's from Blue Springs. Missouri

She's From Texas Ya'll!

She's From Texas Ya'll!

205 Where u at!?? Birmingham Alabama!

205 Where u at!?? Birmingham Alabama!

Oklahoma THROW YA HANDS UP!

Oklahoma THROW YA HANDS UP!

Rat Pack Top 5 Episode. Recap and MORE!

Posted in American Idol by thedavidlewexperience on April 29, 2009

It’s Official:

Adam Lambert WILL be our new Idol.

It is now a race for 2nd Place.
Our New Idol. Mark my words.

Our New Idol. Mark my words. For better or worse

After watching Adams performance of “Feelin’ Good” it is very apparent that he is poised to be our next American Idol. Everyone else in the competition is there for the sake of earning the DeGarmo spot.

The episode was pretty good overall. Nobody phoned in their performances.

Can you guess who the mentor was this week!?

HINT: He was NOT in the Rat Pack.

.
..
….
YOU GUESSED IT: JAMIE FOXX!
Mr. RAY himself

Mr. RAY himself

If my memory serves me, Jamie is probably the biggest star they’ve had in a long time. Also, he is a star that is still in his prime. We are usually privy to the Dolly Partons, Neil Diamonds, Andrew Lloyd Webbers… All stars in their own right, but Jamie Foxx is an A-List star NOW. So that’s a pretty big deal.

Jamie was a cool mentor with plenty of advice, and it also helped he was hilarious in the process. I wonder if this mentor gig was purposefully aligned with the release of his latest film The Soloist (which didn’t do very well in its first weekend, but maybe this will give it a nice boost).

Let me get this off my chest. The judges are more annoying than ever with some of the comments they are dropping. I understand that this is a singing competition. HOWEVER, a viable compliment from Randy Jackson can longer be (and this is a direct quote from his judging of Danny Gokey tonight:

“This is a singing competition, and you can SING!” (Insert crowd screaming trying to match Randys energy)

Another direct quote from Randy Jackson:

“You come out lookin’ like Brittany Murphy (*Random*). Lookin’ Dope. You sing like Pink, but with, like, 10,000 more octaves. That right there (arms flayling), yo, yo, yo (arms still flayling).”

Oh, Randy.

YO! This is a hot one AMERICAAAAAA!

YO! This is a hot one AMERICAAAAAA!

I mean, we started out with 100,000 strong auditioning. We are down to the Top 5. I THINK it’s obvious that they can sing. What a dumb thing to yell. It’s like yelling at a NY Yankee “DUDE YOU CAN REALLY SWING A BAT!”

AND NOW FOR THE PERFORMANCES:

"Blame it (Remix)" Jamie Foxx Feat. Kris Allen??? Possibly?

"Blame it (Remix)" Jamie Foxx Feat. Kris Allen??? Possibly?

Kris Allen got a ton of love from Jamie Foxx. Even said that he would cut a record with Kris if Idol doesn’t pan out. I wonder how many of these offers the mentors give actually get taken up. I have yet to hear Mariah Carey do a track with a former Idol. Or Dolly Parton do a song with Bucky Covington.

I gotta say…

Michael McDonalds long lost son??

the most surprising performance of the night was Danny Gokeys “Come Rain or Come Shine.” He sang with a swagger not seen the entire season. He stood on that Idol stage and said “I may have gotten here on the back of my wifes memory, but I stayed because of this voice!”

AWW… was that too soon???? I wasn’t the only one crying over his story back in the audition days! I was rooting for him to be good. But I also wanted his friend Jamar to make it. AND JAMAR should have made the TOP 12 easily!!! OH JAMAR, where art THOU!??

But I digress.

But I digress
But I digress

Allison Iraheta was up to bat next, and she was stellar as always. Her performances have never been short of brilliant to me. Considering that she is 17 years old… BTW:

Popular Idol from an un-popular season.

Popular Idol from an un-popular season.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALLISON! STILL JAILBAIT, BUT THATS ALRIGHT) The last girl this young to get his far won the whole thing…. Do we remember who??———————> That’s right. But will Allison be able to make it to the finale? If all the ladies rally around her and get their vote on… perhaps. No one in their right mind would disagree that she has an incredible voice, and she is a very marketable commodity in the pop music world of today. A latin Hannah Montana perhaps????

The boy has got vocals and style in spades

The boy has got vocals and style in spades

OH Matt Giraud. Wearing my favorite hats. He sang My Funny Valentine, and it was pretty damn good. But while I’m watching him (who is my favorite right now), I can’t help but wonder how Adam Lambert is going to trump this performance. And that’s the Lambert Effect (Which I will talk about in an upcoming blog!). Matt G does a very decent job of putting his stamp on MVF, but it still feels a bit karaoke. Which is why ultimately he will come up short in this competition.

Lastly, we have Adam Lamberts performance. OMG. This guy knows he’s going to win. He has got an attitude and swagger (twice in one blog. impressive) that no one else has.

As soon as I heard him say he was singing Feelin’ Good I thought about AJ Tabaldos brilliant performance….

THEN! I REMEMBERED ANOTHER PERFORMANCE… Leslie Hunt. OMG. Listen to the scat towards the end.

She obviously got eliminated, but watch this video of her performance on elimination night. Hilarious. Cut to about 2 minutes and 45 seconds into the video for the actual performance. She acknowledges her choice to scat. One of my favorite Idol moments of ALL time. Its worth watching the whole vid. I promise!!

Anywho back to Adam. Great performance, not his best. But it definitely cemented his status as the obvious front runner. Short of a upset not seen on Idol since the supposed Daughtry Debauchery (I was more upset that Elliott didn’t win that year, but I think we can all agree that Taylor did not deserve to win), I think Adam will walk away with this years crown.

So the end of the episode is here. And let’s see if I can name the songs

they sang without looking it up.

Kris Allen- The Way You Look Tonight
Allison Iraheta- Somebody Watch Over me (?)
Matt Giraud- My Funny Valentine
Danny Gokey- Come Rain or Come Shine
Adam Lambert- Feelin’ Good.

Not bad, Dave. Not Bad.

Not bad.

Not bad.

Who is going home, you ask???

hmm… I’m going to say that the person going home tonight…
The person with the least amount of votes…

The country has spoken and the person I believe to be going home will be….

Sad to see her go. But i'll see her on tour.

Sad to see her go. But i'll see her on tour.

TIL NEXT TIME AMERICA!

Wow. It’s been awhile. Best Top 5 EVER??

Posted in American Idol by thedavidlewexperience on April 28, 2009

For those who have been keeping up. It has been a couple weeks since we’ve added any posts to our Utterly Horrendous Blog. LIFE HAPPENS. What can we say?

YOUR TOP 5!

Oh Danny... You are soo boring now. But I stil love you!

Oh Danny... You are soo boring now. But I stil love you!

The Most Consistent Idol this year?

The Most Consistent Idol this year

Is Idol his to lose?

Is Idol his to lose?

Can the only female left be our next American Idol?

Can the only female left be our next American Idol

The judges used the save on him. Could he win the whole thing?

The judges used the save on him. Could he win the whole thing?

This is by far the most wide open Top 5 that the show has ever had. I can’t think of previous Top 5 that comes close. I think right now it’s Adam Lamberts to lose, because of judges pimping and due to girls blind eye to his very real homosexuality. And more importantly, the kid has got pipes (And not just the ones he’s laying.)

Lets look at the very serious competitors.

Danny Gokey– The very early favorite, But he has been suffering from Archuleta Syndrome (A.S. is a disease that strikes many early front runners. Its stunts their growth as an artist throughout the competition. A.S. also causes the contestant to pick very boring and predictable Idol songs). But Danny has been fighting the A.S. and has not been in the bottom 3 the entire year. But the gas in his tank is running out as we get closer to the Finale. We’ll see if he can kick it into overdrive with some memorable performances. Can YOU name a Danny Gokey moment this year??

Matt Giraud– The Soul man this year. He is by far my favorite Idol to listen to in the car. His studio versions of songs are amazing. I don’t think his personality has shone through enough. Also, after every performance the judges feel compelled to mention Adam Lambert and Danny Gokey in Matt Girauds critiques, which is very unfair to him. His song choices have been a bit more adventurous than I would have liked, but at least he takes risks. He went a bit vanilla with Have You Ever Loved a Woman, but I still liked it. Matt is least likely to win, but in any other season, he would have at least placed 3rd.

Kris Allen– What a season this guy has had!? I still feel like this kid made a mistake by mentioning his wife early on. The girls swoon over this guy more than any other guy this year, and the wifey broke their hearts. His versions of songs are creative and very much his personality. My favorite so far has to be Ain’t No Sunshine. That was definitely his “Imagine” or his “Billy Jean” moment.
Allison Iraheta– The little 16 year old that could. This girl is probably the best female rock vocalist the show has ever had. She has hints of Christina Aguilera in her vocal performances. She is the only female left, and if she goes home it’ll be the first Top 4 Guys in IDOL HISTORY! So NO PRESSURE ALLISON! If women gather up and support her, she could definitely sneak into the finale.

Adam Lambert– Wow. This kid has pulled in some performances. People point to Tracks of My Tears has an Idol Moment. But I challenge  you to not be more impressed by his rendition of If I Can’t Have You as one of the greatest in Idol History. He has had more “moments” than anyone this season. But he is also the most polarizing Idol EVER. I have never seen more people hate or love a contestant as much as Adam.  Barring any upsets, he will definitely be in our Finale in May.

Lets take a look at Previous top 5’s and compare!

Season 7

1.David Cook
2.David Archuleta
3.Syesha Mercado
4.Jason Castro
5.Brooke White

At this point we knew it was David and David. No doubt in anyones mind.

You get two David Cook vids

Season 6
1.Jordin Sparks
2.Blake Lewis
3.Melinda Doolittle
4.Lakisha Jones
5.Chris Richardson

eh. I don’t think anyone cared enough this season about the top 5. They were all fairly mediocre. This was my favorite Jordin Performance.

Season 5
1.Taylor Hicks
2.Katharine McPhee
3.Elliott Yamin
4.Chris Daughtry
5.Paris Bennett

Taylor won!? Still the most WTF? Winner of American Idol. Elliott was my favorite and is still my favorite idol ever (tied with David Cook). My favorite performance.

Season 4
1.Carrie Underwood
2.Bo Bice
3.Vonzell Solomon
4.Anthony Federov
5.Scott Savol

Really? It was Carrie Underwood or bust. Bo Bice had a nice following, but he had no chance. Remember ALONE?? Nuff SAID

Season 3
1.Fantasia Barrino
2.Diana DeGarmo
3.Jasmine Trias
4.Latoya London
5.George Huff

I didn’t watch this season, but Youtube clips and just hearing about this season; sounds like it was Latoyas to lose and Jasmine had Hawaii to thank for 3rd place.

Season 2

1. Reuben Studdard
2. Clay Aiken
3. Kimberly Locke
4. Josh Gracin
5.Trenyce

I’m going to need Stephanie C to chime in on this season and season 1 because I didn’t follow the show too well back then. But it doesn’t seem like Josh Gracin ever had a chance of winning, neither did Kim or Trenyce.

This is the only song I think of when I hear about season 2.

Season 1

1. Kelly Clarkson
2. Justin Guarini
3. Nikki Mckibbin
4.Tamyra Gray
5. RJ Helton

I’m pretty sure it was Kellys to lose. Even though I love RJ Heltons performance of I’ll be there.

Country night, Season 8 style. Wait, who here likes this crap?

Posted in American Idol by midwesterntransplant on March 19, 2009

Stephani here! Grand Ole Opry night has come and go, friends. And thank heavens for that – I mean, seriously. I don’t think any of these guys are going to go on to record country music, and the only contestant who *might* was a hot bag of crap tonight. So on we go… at least it wasn’t a *total* trainwreck.

1.) Michael Sarver – Ain’t Goin’ Down Till the Sun Comes Up. You know you did a shitty job when bloody Josh Gracin from Season 2 outsings you on a song. But again, this was never meant to actually be a “real” Idol song, it’s one of those songs you try to sing all drunk at a dive karaoke bar in Oklahoma [I should know, I love to sing this song]. There’s just too many words! And I’m not convinced he sang them all! [I know all the words, for the record]. Oh my heck. And to make his case worse, he talked back to the judges. BIG no-no. Please get voted off go back to being Bruce Willis on an oil rig, you country smart-ass.

2.) Allison Iraheta – Blame It On Your Heart. Aw, I still like her, with her cute mushmouth and fabulous cherry-red hair and her growly so-not-16-years-old voice. That said, country isn’t this chick’s genre, but she did her thang [tm Randy]. She does this adorable little Ruplestiltskin dance in her workshop with Randy Travis [which, thank God, she did not do on stage] and then I was reminded again that she was born in effing 1992. At least she did better than I thought she would.

3.) Kris Allen – To Make You Feel My Love. Dudes, this isn’t even *really* a Garth Brooks song, it’s a Bob Dylan song. Anyway, with that aside, I still want to take young Kris home and do wonderfully bad things to him. He showed his softer side – which, without a doubt, had fangirls from coast to coast squealing like they were at a Jonas Brothers convention. He didn’t use his guitar – and he still shone without it. He’s got a beautiful voice. But it HAS to be said – with a song this slow and romantic, couldn’t they at least have given him some awesome pimp lighting? Like seriously, I thought I was staring at the blue screen of death while watching him, and that was *weird*.

4.) Lil [not Little] Rounds – Independance Day. Girl, now it’s a damn good thing you didn’t take Randy’s advice and sing that overblown cover of “I Will Always Love You” that every freaking diva in America thinks they can nail. But four seasons ago Carrie NAILED this – and recorded it. She didn’t match up, sadly. Not to mention this song is one of the biggest forms of country music buzzkill [a mom kills her husband and herself and then the daughter goes on to tell her story? Yikes] and should probably never be sung ever again by someone not named Martina McBride. Even that’s a push. But she was alright – just not amazing.

5.) Adam Lambert – Ring of Fire. The first “love it or hate it” performance of the season! I loved it, the husband wanted to throw our brand-new LCD TV down the stairs after it was over. Sure, it was unconventional and Middle Eastern and kind of weird, but my lil’ theatre boy SOLD IT. I felt like I needed to go get tested for chlamydia after watching it. This is what Constantine from Season 4 wanted to be but epically failed. Yeah, sure, it was a little indulgent – but I’d rather hear this than Adam trying to straight-face it through some Garth Brooks. And for those saying Johnny Cash is rolling in his grave? Not likely. The Man in Black covered genres all the freaking time.

6.) Scott Macintyre – Wild Angels. Well, this is a refreshing change – someone other than a glory-noting wannabe diva singing Martina McBride. Kinda warms my jaded, hardened heart. Once again we see Scott in his comfort zone, behind the piano, and I feel his interpretation is pretty damn good. Sure, he’s the musical equivalent of Xanax, but he’s definitely improving every week. And Paula, seriously, give the blind kid a break! With this recession going on, Idol can’t afford to hire extra stage hands to keep Scott from accidentally walking off the front of the stage, so let the kid sit, k?

7.) Alexis Grace – Jolene. Yikes. I’m sorry, this is one of my favorite songs EVER, and it needs to be sang with ANGST and LONGING. None of this vocal riffing shit. Dolly sang it straight; hell, Brooke sang it straight last year even if she got a bit smiley in parts. But seriously, girl, quit dressing like a call girl and feel the raw emotion behind the song. No one cares about melisma when you’re singing fucking DOLLY PARTON. [By the way, this is what I hoped Adam would sing – the White Stripes version, of course. He would have nailed it.]

8.) Danny Gokey – Jesus Take the Wheel. Dude, we get it – you’re a church-going kid, a choir leader, and your wife died. You love Jesus. But this is the WORST SONG IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD for so so so many reasons. The preachy, nonsensical lyrics completely kill it for me no matter who is singing it – and I like Carrie Underwood. He wore a jacket that made him look like the sixth member of NSync and while his vocals were technically very good, I didn’t get that he was feeling it that much – which I suppose you have to do when you’re singing about Jesus literally taking the wheel of your car before you crash and die.

9.) Anoop Desai – Always On My Mind. I love me some Anoop. I love me some Anoop when he gets all 1980s and sings songs by artists who are now persona non grata. But I LOVED this – his vocals were spot-on, he brought emotion to the table and he definitely redeemed himself in the judges’ eyes. If he keeps singing songs that aren’t karaoke staples, he could make it very far this season, which would please me to no end.

10.) Megan Corkery – Walking After Midnight. Still don’t like her. Still don’t know why the judges have to give her the damn money shot after she sings. Because, seriously – they compare her to “current” artists, like Duffy or Amy Crackhead Winehouse or Adele. But the big, gaping difference between them and Megan is that they can sing extremely well and they can sell a song completely. Megan’s weird four-year-old dance moves [she is a single mom, after all] and half-spoken way of singing and inability to hold a note longer than 1.3256 seconds does not make her a viable pop star. And girl, please – put on a damn bra.

11.) Matt Giraud – So Small. If the judges want to talk about current, take this kid – he’s got aspects of John Mayer, Justin Timberlake, John Legend and Robin Thicke all wrapped up into one very pretty, very Jason Segal-lookalike package. I hadn’t heard this song before he sang it and after hearing it, I can’t imagine Carrie Underwood making it her own. The judges love him. I love him. But one minor gripe – why do they give Scott [y’know, the BLIND guy] a hard time for always using the piano, but not Matt? It baffles me.

So Michael grumbled a lot of words. Allison tried to make country sound like punk rock Miley Cyrus. Kris went all heartthrob. Lil avoided R&B on country night and got bitched out for her troubles. Adam confused most of America, especially the bible belters. Scott continued making very pretty sounding muzak. Alexis missed the point completely. Danny yelled a lot about Jesus and shit. Anoop showed there’s more to him than bad 1980s has-beens. Megan jumped in the running for Kellie Pickler 2.0. And Matt took one step closer to assuming JT’s throne.

See ya tomorrow for the results!