Utterly Horrendous

Top 10 girls… a little better this time around…

Posted in Uncategorized by thedavidlewexperience on March 4, 2010

Once again, the girls are upon us. And once again, the accessories section of Urban Outfitters appears to have vomited all over most of them. Have any of of them heard of “less is more”?

Kara needs to stop trying to be Paula redux. The loopiness and the hanging all over Simon deal. It’s just not happening, sweetcheeks.

CRYSTAL BOWERSOX IS BACK! Good news all around, considering she’s one of the best Idol has this season, guy OR girl. It would have been a damn shame if she got DQed for being ill. But nope – she’s well and ready to go.
Crystal starts us off… Crystal has a twin brother. That’s kinda cool. And she shows off her accessories as something meaningful, not so much as stuff she piled on to look trendy. Creedance Clearwater Revival is such a good artist choice for her, I think.
She just keeps getting better and better, doesn’t she? This may not be the most well-known Creedance Clearwater song [“Long As I Can See The Light”], but with the way she nailed it, who cares? Her voice is tinged with Jack Daniels and a life of living rough, and she’s completely got that “pure, raw natural talent” that Ellen said she had. What a way to start the night off… she set the bar REALLY high.
And for Simon to say he misunderestimated her last week… good news.

Haeley Vaughn makes and collects hair accessories… based on the amount she’s piled on tonight and last week, I’m not surprised. And I see she got herself a nice weave for tonight, which is somehow less flattering then before. AND she’s singing a Miley Cyrus song… pretty soon here I’m gonna need an insulin shot. No, Ryan, singing “The Climb” is not showing off your “serious” side.
This just in: It is possible to sing worse than Miley Cyrus on her own songs. It appears I completely overestimated young Haeley’s talent last week, because now that she doesn’t have an upbeat, quirky song to hide behind, she sounds… well, she just sounds awful. Plus I’m having a REAL hard time taking her seriously with all these pieces of junk jewelry… can you tell I find it all REALLY distracting??
Kara, I don’t know who the hell is rooting for Haeley… except maybe the people at Vote For The Worst.

Lacey Brown, our token quirky indie pink-haired hipster, likes antique shopping. She needs to move to San Francisco because she’d fit in with all 10,000 chicks JUST LIKE HER in that city. I’m sort of bored already.
She’s singing “Kiss Me” by Sixpence None The Richer, a one-hit-wonder song that was HUGE about ten years ago when I was still in high school and “Dawson’s Creek” was the most popular show on TV. This song is a much better fit for her voice, because she sounds exactly like the lead singer, but she’s still not that great, and I remain completely bored.
Randy whines [yes, whines] about how it sounds like karaoke… yeah, I agree.

Katie Stevens can say “Give me a kiss” in six different languages… I can say it in three! [English, Spanish and Polish] Languages are fun. She’s gonna sing something “young” tonight after singing “Feeling Good” last week… so she’s singing “Put Your Records On” by Corinne Bailey Rae, which has become SO outdone on Idol [and never really done well, either].
She’s okay, but not amazing. It really doesn’t seem like the judges are pimping her up as much as I’d expected, and it’s a good thing. I don’t think this was the right choice for her at all; it’s not a song that’s a vocal showcase and it’s such a jump from what she’s done on the show so far, but she needs to find a contemporary song that shows her talent. This wasn’t it.

Didi Benami reminds me a lot of Brooke White. They both have that same au naturel toothy blonde look, and both seem more than a little loopy. Right before she said she “meowed” before going on stage I was gonna say she was a few steps away from sounding like a crazy cat lady… so… yeah.
This week she’s singing “Lean On Me” by Bill Withers, which is a big jump from the adorable Ingrid Michaelson song she did well on last week. She sounds really good, but I’m not feeling her white-girl dance moves. Someone needs to tell her it’s entirely possible to stand still and sing. The tempo was also a little slow, but I don’t think that’s her fault. She’s got a great voice – but this isn’t a good song choice for her. Simon calls it “generic”. I kind of agree.

Michelle Delamor was pretty generic last week… and this week is singing “With Arms Wide Open” by Creed. WTF? This is either gonna be strangely amazing or a HOT mess, because anything Creed post-“My Own Prison” album is just terrible.
Once again, I get NOTHING from this chick. She has a good voice and she’s beautiful but she doesn’t seem to have ANY musical identity. Not to mention she’s biffing notes left and rights here in what seems like attempts to riff. It’s just not a good song choice – it dragged on and on and it’s just… not a good song. For anyone, really. I do love what she’s wearing, though [apparently it’s a Vera Wang. Nice].
The judges [sans Randy] loved it. They must really be pushing for the diversity quota here, with Todrick, Jermaine and Haeley all choking [and Ashley and Jose getting voted off last week].

Lilly Scott plays all kinds of instruments, and tonight is playing a 12-string during her performance of “A Change is Gonna Come” by Sam Cooke. Adam Lambert did this one good last season, so the bar’s set pretty high.
Lilly has a quirky voice, nothing like the bombastic Idols before her who’ve tried this one. Somehow, though, it works for her. She kinda reminds me of Cyndi Lauper, in her stylings and phrasing. I think she did this well, even though it was such a diversion from other versions.

Katelyn Epperly, thank heavens, has toned down her “little girl playing dress-up” look from last week and is wearing a gorgeous white-and-champagne dress. She was studying to be a recording engineer before Idol, which is kinda cool considering it directly relates to what she’s doing here. Has anyone on here sang a Coldplay song before? This is a good one.
She’s playing the piano on “The Scientist”, one of Coldplay’s most gorgeous piano ballads, and she sounds amazing. There’s no Bandzilla backing her up – just the piano she’s playing [and maybe a triangle chime here and there]. Love love love it. Beautiful. This is such a wonderful song for her voice.

Paige Miles likes to color with markers and crayons… which is AWESOME. After years of teaching preschool part-time and babysitting, I’m so inclined to agree. I like this girl’s personality – she’s got spunk.
Singing “Walk Away” by Kelly Clarkson… which really isn’t one of her best songs, but oh well. She’s doing it well though – her voice reminds me a lot of Kelly’s voice – although maybe not as strong. Great song for her voice though; her attitude is shining right through. That high note though… no.
The judges said she didn’t choose the right song. I can’t say I agree – I just get the feeling they want to stick her in the “diva” box.

Siobhan Magnus is one of those performers who I usually can’t wait to see what she does next. After doing “Wicked Game” so well last week, I’m not too excited to hear her do “Think” by Aretha Franklin this week. It’s not in her wheelhouse at all, and although she has the voice for it, there are notes she’s not getting – except that last high one. Well played! I still love her though. She’s safe.

This was a better night for the girls, and a better week all around for everyone.

Top 2:

Crystal Bowersox

Katelyn Epperly

Bottom 2:

Haeley Vaughn

Lacey Brown

In danger:

Lacey Brown

Didi Benami

See ya tomorrow for the results!

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Top 12 girls… the voting is on!

Posted in Uncategorized by alaskansteph on February 25, 2010

Voting rounds begin tonight! Who will sink? Who will swim? And why does everyone look so effing YOUNG?

THIS… is American Idol!

I know it’s a girl’s year this year, so maybe that’s why they’re kicking it off with a mostly pretty, sort of alternative, some slightly grungy ladies? Do ALL of them shop at American Apparel?  Their general style appears to be “I’m really super trendy, but I want to look alternative, so I’ll just pile on all this jewelry from Forever 21 and get some Manic Panic”.

Glad to know Ellen is on point with the humour. She’s a great addition to the judge’s table. Although she showed this staged “leg grabbing” video on her show last week.

Paige Miles is cute but sounds insanely affected in her pre-performance interview. Singing “All Right Now” … ummm, sweetie, no. I think she forgot to watch season 7 when David Cook knocked this out of the park. Not to mention, she’s wearing a larger size of the dress I wore on Christmas day when I was six. So it makes it really hard to take her seriously. Grungy 70s rock + Jessica McClintock knockoff = bipolar performance. How old is she? 24? Shut up. No 24 year old would wear that damn dress.

I’m really not crazy about Ashley Rodriguez. I wasn’t crazy about her in Boston when they fawned all over her mediocre version of yet another out-played Alicia Keys song, and my opinion hasn’t changed. She sounded like crap singing a bloody Jordin Sparks song that has virtually no range. There you go… all you need to know. Oh, and she’s singing that Leona Lewis song [“Happy“] that was all over the TV spots for “Precious“. So any time now I expect to see Mo’Nique throwing a TV down the stairs at Gabourey Sidibe.
I take it she’s the type to use melisma to cover up the fact that she can’t hold a note. And to sing a Leona Lewis song in front of the man who basically created her career was pretty brave. Her early airtime will keep her in for now.

Apparently Janell Wheeler dated Tim Tebow. Somehow, she strikes me as the type to do so. I liked her acoustic version of Estelle’s “American Boy” in Hollywood but I’m really having an issue warming up to her. She looks like all the vapid blondies I went to college with in Oklahoma. But she’s singing a Heart song, so maybe she’ll redeem herself?
This song – “What About Love” – is WAY too big for her. Ann and Nancy Wilson didn’t mess around; hell, even Melissa McGhee in Season 5 did a pretty good job with this song. But she is all over the place – her voice is just not even close to being strong enough for this song. If she chose something lighter [Estelle was a perfect artist to emulate] it would have worked but this was a hot mess.

Lilly Scott has hella cool hair – I love that grey-blonde razored look she has. It’s unique without being overdone. And she’s singing an adorably cute Beatles song – “Fixing a Hole” – accompanied by guitar! I like her a lot already.
Her voice isn’t perfect, but it has a very quirky unpolished tone that seems to fit her. This is the kind of song that stands out – unknown, but not forgettable. Her dress is uber-cute and she certainly knows how to work a camera. Simon said he liked that it seemed she chose the song because it fit her and portrayed her, instead of choosing a song that would her get to the next round. I think she’s unpolished – we need more “unpolished”, fewer producer plants.
Oh, and Kara, you’re on live television. Quit with the sneaky whispering to Simon. This ain’t middle school, sweetie.

Katelyn Epperly is once again milking her “sad backstory”. And she’s looking a lot like Annalynne McCord from 90210 [not a compliment]. Big hair + bright red lipstick + awkward looking hairpiece + pleather black dress with questionable looking tights = all kinds of a hot mess. Accessory sensory overload! She kind of resembles a little girl playing dress-up.
She wasn’t terrible, and I like that more people are singing Beatles’ songs [she sang “Oh! Darling“] and not even just the generic ones everyone knows. So it was… okay. Not terrible by any means.

Haeley Vaughn talks about getting her nose pierced after making it to Hollywood. And being 16 her mom had to come with her. Somehow, this makes me like her more, even though she’s overdoing “ethnic Taylor Swift” deal.
Singing another Beatles song – “I Want To Hold Your Hand” – I’m liking it. I usually get way too bored by these little teenage things but she’s unpolished, quirky and has a big voice without getting all diva on us. And this is a great song choice for her; it always makes me think of the version from ‘Across the Universe’. I hope she sticks around, because she’s not polished and generic but still crazy talented. Ellen has it right – “you just shined”. I agree.

Lacey Brown looks like she’s trying to overdo the hipster thing. I mean, I get that most seasons of Idol have to have a pink-haired girl, but her random blue tank top under her one-shouldered floral dress that looked like sofa upholstry was weird, and she looks like she hit up Urban Outfitter and grabbed as many mismatched pieces as possible.
Her voice was weird [she sang Stevie Nicks’ “Landslide”] – it wasn’t very strong, and although that sometimes doesn’t matter, it did here. It had a Dolly Parton sound to it, but not as good, if that makes sense. Maybe on a record where they can auto-tune parts if needed, but on the Idol stage? Nuh-uh.

Michelle Delamor is very pretty and a “corporate singer”, whatever that entails. She also apparently has a very loud family. But… she’s singing “Fallin‘”, another one of those crazy overdone Alicia Keys songs that has made me completely lose all interest in Ms. Keys’ music.
She isn’t terrible but this… just isn’t good. Her voice isn’t strong enough to dig into the deeper parts of the song, and I’m beginning to understand the terms that “corporate singer” could be… either way I’m just bored here.

Didi Benami is very, very pretty, and talented too – but she’s another one with a “sad backstory” that she brings up whenever possible. That whole deal bugs me – let people vote for your talent, not how sad your life is. Danny Gokey wore that one out last season.
She’s singing “The Way I Am” by Ingrid Michaelson, which I didn’t think I knew until I heard it. Her voice is very unique, and my husband thinks she sounds a lot like Regina Spektor [I happen to agree, and a little like old school Nelly Furtado too]. She sounds pretty amazing and this performance is subdued, but not boring at all. Except that vest… it’s quite terrible.

Siobhan Magnus has a very quirky look and vocal style and I love her group’s rendition of ‘Bad Romance’ in Hollywood. Dark horse? Yeah, I’d say so.
Wicked Game” … have we ever heard this song on Idol? Either way, it’s a great one, and this suits her style impeccably. I like that she’s not rocking out, that this is a more subdued performance, and that she’s not trying to out-diva the other girls. She, like Haeley and Lilly, is unpolished without being untalented.

Crystal Bowersox, so far, has been my favorite of all the girls, if not all the contestants. She’s gritty without being like all the other so-called “gritty” artists, and she seems to rarely perform without her guitar. I so want her to go far.
If my memory serves correct this is only the second Alanis Morissette song we’ve heard on this show [“Hand In My Pocket“]. And the harmonica! She’s really great – so unlike the rest of the girls – and I want her to go very, very far in this competition. If this has to be a girl’s year, please let her be the winner. Except Simon doesn’t like her. She’s not a belter.

I’m not gonna lie – Katie Stevens bugs me. Before she even walked into the audition room her family and friends had her face on a stick. Creepy. Not to mention her backstory, while very poignant, rubs me the wrong way. This girl is 16 – plenty of time later to establish a career – but she wants to do it now for her grandmother? If she’s dying she should just spend more time with her instead of gallavanting around Southern California. I’m just sayin’…
She just looks and sounds so precocious and is WAY too young to be singing “Feelin’ Good“. I will never forget how good Adam Lambert sounded on it – and she pales in comparison. And I am so glad the judges didn’t pimp the crap out of her.

My top two of the night:

Crystal Bowersox, x1000
Haeley Vaughn [I know I’m in the minority]

Bottom two:

Paige Miles
Janelle Wheeler

Who will go home?

Paige Miles [no airtime + early placement + forgettable]
Michelle Delamor [all of the above, really]

Share your thoughts in the comments!

Second Week! Top 5/Bottom 5. TWAIN vs CHENOWETH

Posted in American Idol by thedavidlewexperience on January 23, 2010

TWAIN

VS

CHENOWETH

This week takes us to Chicago and Orlando! Despite some DVR issues I was able to watch the episodes at a great friends house (HI! MELISSA! Thanks again! See you at this years finale!) Guest judges this week were Shania Twain (HOT AS EVER! When is she coming out with another album??) and Kristin Chenoweth (Who is the new Cher in the gay community i’m starting to learn). I have to say that I preferred these two to last weeks guest judges (do you remember?? I barely do. Na’vi Victoria Beckham and Mary J. Blige). They seemed to have more fun with the other judges and contestants.

Of both cities, the award for best city has to go to Orlando. Hands down. 31 golden tickets were handed out in Orlando, compared to 13 in Chicago. 13!!? Chicago!? WOW! Thousands show up but only 13 got a ticket. Either they had to slow down their invitations or the preliminary audition part was harder than usual.

Unfortunately this week, we weren’t given anything nearly as memorable or catchy as “Pants on the Ground” Which honestly, will that ever be topped? Probably not. I thought “I Am Your Brother” would never be topped, remember that guy?

but Pants on the Ground has GONE GLOBAL! However, we were treated to a lot great singers! Great singers with terribly tragic stories! Speaking of, we have come up with a fun way for adults to watch Idol!

*IDOL DRINKING GAME ALERT!*

(MUST BE 21 to play the IDOL DRINKING GAME)

Here’s how to play! There are different versions of the game. You can play Good audtion drinking game or Bad audition drinking game.

Good Audition Drinking Game!

Pick your drink of your choice. Set up by pouring 2-3 shots to start. If the person auditioning is good AND cries! TAKE A SHOT! If you really really REALLY wanna get drunk, you must add another shot if the good audition has a sob story! SO tears and sob story = TWO SHOTS! Have fun!!

Bad Audition Drinking Game!

Again, your choice of drink. Set up by pouring 2-3 shots to start. If the person auditioning is bad and curses while in the audition room= TAKE A SHOT! To step up the pace on this game, add another shot IF the person auditioning continues to sing AFTER the judges say no to them!
AND NOW LETS GO TO OUR TOP 5 /Bottom 5 of the week!!!

TOP 5

5. Desimone Sisters (Bernadette and Amanda)– This may be me drawing in the small male demographic who reads this. But here they are, the most beautiful pair of sisters to grace the Idol screen since the O’Donohue sisters from Season 5. Remember them?? Here, take a look to refresh your memory:

Unfortunately, she wasn’t as good as she was beautiful. But the Desimone sisters have some talent. Take a look, and let’s see how far they go!

4. Katelyn Epperly– Beautiful girl with a great voice. I love her look and the way she carries herself. Did I mention she’s gorgeous? I’m predicting her parents will be filmed at one point enjoying their daughter on the show!

3. Paige Dechausse– Another beautiful girl, but with a grittier voice. She sang an all time Idol favorite, Sam Cookes “A Change is Gonna Come.” And she does the best rendition I’ve heard in a long time. And I had never heard a female sing it on the show. To see Paige in the video, cut to 5:56. If you want to skip the back story then go to 6:57.

2. Seth Rollins– He was already a quick favorite since he and I share the same frame and beard look. haha. I also liked he took a Sinatra song and put some soul into it. He could be in the top 12 guys.

1. Matt Lawrence– Wow. What a voice. I have never agreed more with Simon than when he said he believed that he could have written that song, just by the way he sang and interpreted the lyrics. This guy could be “Oil Rig” 2.0! He sings better than Michael Sarver already.

BOTTOM 5

5. Curley Newbern– Started off the Chicago auditions with a terrible high note. He makes my list because I love that song, and he had the audacity to attempt to sing a MAXWELL SONG! At least he handled it well…

4. Brian Krause– HE SINGS TINY TIM? And he literally tip toes through the tulips. Plus he gives new meaning to “Military Intelligence”

3. Theo Glinton– The Black Lady GaGa. He was doing too much from the beginning. From the very first swing of his cape.

2. Harold Davis– Wow. If he didn’t name the song, I would have had NO idea what song he was singing. Ushers “Nice and Slow” WOW. Terrible. But since he wasn’t arrested. No #1 this week for you buddy.

1. Jarrod Norrell– I believe this is the first time an audition has ended in handcuffs. And for that reason alone he made it number 1.

Number 1 Audition of the Week:

JOHN PARK

I was not expecting the voice that came out of John Park. I was expecting typcal R&B flair, but he kicked out something vicious. I was absolutely impressed, and I’m sure we will see him in the Top 24 and beyond.ALSO, he was told by Shania Twain that he has “nice lips and a nice bottom end…” WOW. On that alone, he deserved number 1.

Thats it! Stay Tuned next week when the show heads to Los Angeles and Dallas! And the guest judges are Avril Lavigne *what has she been doing the last 4 years? Besides having a ridiculous amount of views on youtube…? 2nd judge is Katy Perry, a veteran herself of the recording industry and it’s vicious cycles.
Til Next Time!  -DL-