Michael Jackson night fails to bring 13 continuous trainwrecks.

Stephani here! Here we go… the Top 13. The first round of the finals. A sink or swim round for many Idol performers.

First of all, I’m feeling like this season is a bit disjointed… there’s WAY too much focus on the judges. First with the semi-finals format forcing a wild card round [all of whom were chosen by the judges], the weird intro they had tonight and now some kind of results show twist? Seriously? if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it… but they are anyway.

Oh well… onto the people we actually vote for.

1.) Lil Rounds – The Way You Make Me Feel. First of all, WHAT is she wearing? White tapered mom jeans and a cotton candy pink loofah on her shoulder? Well, girl has stage presence, at the very least. She reminds me of a combo of LaToya and Fantasia from season three – shouty meets young married mom. She was good, but the continual pimping will keep her afloat.

2.) Scott McIntyre – Keep the Faith. I suppose it was this or “Heal the World”, right? I just knew dude would sing something inspirational. He busted out the grand piano and I think this was the best he’s been in weeks. Of course, that isn’t saying much because the main reason he made the finals was his super inspirational backstory and the fact that the judges treat him with kid gloves. I still want to see him stick around, though, if only to see how he handles the cheesetastic group sings and to see if they put him behind the wheel of a Ford in a pimpmercial. Yeah, I’m going to hell.

3.) Danny Gokey – PYT. All I could think about before he sang was, “Didn’t Justin Guarini massacre this song in season one?” Luckily, Danny fared much better, even though his totally off-the-wall dork dancing sometimes overshadowed his very good vocals. I like this guy, but I may not continue to if the judges keep pimping him to high heavens. The last guy who had great vocals and drunk-uncle-at-a-wedding dance moves was Taylor Hicks… don’t they hate him now?

4.) Michael Sarver – You Are Not Alone. God, I HATE this song. The video tainted it for me years ago… creepy. Anyway, he does a passable job and he keeps doing this creepy smiling thing during the song and I can’t get over how much he reminds me of Josh Gracin from season two. They’ve both got that whole “I’m American, freedom isn’t free, yadayada” thing going for them. Oh and in case anyone out there forgot, he works on an oil rig. Just saying.

5.) Jasmine Murray – I’ll Be There. Jacko sang this as a wee one with the Jackson 5, and Jasmine is the token pretty Disney princess of the season, so I guess this fits. Again, a passable job, but not at all exciting. I’d rather go listen to the Mariah Carey cover. Not to mention she was flat and looked like she was competing for Miss Teen Mississippi. Not safe.

6.) Kris Allen – Remember the Time. Oh, Kris. You are my token Idol crush for this season. You and your cute dimples and cute guitar playing and cute, well, everything. I suppose it helps that he’s quite talented, though he didn’t get much screen time so he needs to bring it to stay in the game. He was also very good tonight – he needs to bring out the guitar more often because it’s obvious he’s a better performer with it. The best part? When Simon called him out for talking about his wife because of the teenage girl vote, and wifey giving Simon a massive bitchface from the audience. Priceless.

7.) Allison Iraheta – Give In To Me. I like this girl. She’s super young, but it’s not obvious – she’s not a pretty pageant princess or anything. And her voice is unlike any other 16-year-old I’ve heard, except maybe Christina Aguilera back then. This was a great song for her and she rocked it out. I’m pretty sure if she doesn’t completely blow out her voice, she’s gonna make it very far. Then after the judges told her to be less dark, she makes a random comment about how she’s not on stage cutting herself or anything. I decided to vote for her after that.

8.) Anoop Desai – Beat It. The judges need to give the kid a break. He wasn’t bad – not great either – but hell, after their comments you’d have thought he sacrificed kittens on stage. They were right about one thing, though – it’s a very “karaoke” song unless you can seriously bring the angst and do something new with it. Unfortunately, Anoop Dawg seems like a nice guy who isn’t really capable of this kind of angst, so maybe he should have sang “In the Closet” or something. I dunno.

9.) Jorge Nunez – Never Can Say Goodbye. Holy cruise ship, Batman. This wasn’t bad by any stretch – but what was it? Oh right, boring. He’s got a great voice, but when I hear him sing I envision generic looking Chippindale waiters serving me Bahama Mamas by the pool on the lido deck. I don’t think this kid has long for this competition – unless Puerto Rico is the new Hawaii. Time will tell.

10.) Megan Corkrey – Rockin’ Robin. All the songs in the Michael Jackson catalog and she chooses THIS? There are no words, really… other than trainwreck. I can’t deal with her flailing that she tries to pass off as dancing, and she’s not a fit up here on this stage – she’s definitely more suited for smaller venues, and she’s completely outshined. I don’t care how “current” she is. And seriously, someone tell me what was up with those bird calls at the end?

11.) Adam Lambert – Black or White. The most flamboyant Idol contestant to date sings one of MJ’s most flamboyant songs. It’s quite fitting. Pimped-out lighting aside, I loved it. The level of talent, stage presence and self-awareness is so refreshing that I don’t care that he’s probably a ringer. For once I think the judges were totally spot-on with their over-the-top raves. I can’t wait to see what he pulls out in the future. Oh, and he’s hot.

12.) Matt Giraud – Human Nature. This kid is a professional. With both last week’s and tonight’s performances, he has completely erased the “Viva la Vida” debacle for me. Like Scott, he channeled his piano skills into a very impressive performance and all I could think was how much he resembled Justin Timberlake – both in appearance and performance quality. He didn’t need to bust out the glory notes here and this understated performance was one of the best of the night.

13.) Alexis Grace – Dirty Diana. I so wouldn’t have picked her for the pimp spot, but I guess someone new had to get it. Once again she channeled her inner Katy Perry and “dirtied” it up for America. I like her well enough, but she’s just… there for me. The pimp lighting made her performance seem so much better than it really was. I guess they need to prop the girls up this season, though, with the bevy of male talent they have.

D-Lew’s recap of MJ Night on IDOL.

In the immortal

words of The Dells

“Oh, What a Night”

The Idols put on one helluva Karaoke session, mixed with some real singers.

I had an initial mix of excitement and worry with the theme of this week being Michael Jackson!

How I want to remember him.

My first suggestion for the rest of the shows:

THE JUDGES SHOULD

BE SITTING

AT THE BEGINNING

OF THE SHOW!!!

Them being introduced was as awkward as Sanjaya

girl crying when Sanjaya hit the stage. Never

again.Lets have them sitting as always.

Next suggestion:

THE JUDGES SHOULD

JUDGE IN THE

SAME ORDER

EACH TIME!

When Simon DOES not go last, it is blasphemous.

We all wait to see what Simon thinks of the performance. Randy will say his usual Dogg-ness, Kara will either hate or love their CHOPS. Paula will be Paula and make a little bit of sense. (She has been dropping the word Sexy a little more loosely this year…) But Simon is the only one that actually has something constructive to say. Or at the very least is excrutiatingly honest. EXCEPT during the MJ episode, where he liked Scotty Mac a little too much, or when he was proverbially sucking off Adam after Black and White.

LETS START THE RECAP

Randy says this is the first time that any of the top 13 can win it! WTF!?!?!?!!! ARE U INSANE. AMERICAN IDOL MICHAEL SARVER. YEAH FUCKIN’ RIGHT!!! And why are both Kara and Paula allowing their accessories on their dresses molest their necks.

Nice montage of Michael. They have ignored late 90’s to now MJ. Good choice there. I don’t need to see Blood on the Dance Floor MJ

1. Lil Rounds- Apparently Lil Rounds took dressing tips from Kara and Paula… Hated what she was wearing. She sang The Way You Make You Feel. Very Karaoke. Nothing special. But I knew throughout the whole performance that the judges will be in love with everything she does. And the judges do love it. But its all very generic. But she’s SAFE for sure.

2. Scotty Mac. AKA DJ Blind Boy- Can’t they throw on some glasses on Scotty Mac???! He’s an okay singer. But not a finalist. I don’t remember this song. Didn’t like anything about that performance. The judges are going to love it…. and it will be annoying. At least Simon was honest and said it was okay. HE MIGHT BE IN TROUBLE.

3. Danny Gokey!- The first real performance of the night!! He sang P.Y.T. and nailed it! His dancing was over the top, but he was just in the moment. Can’t fault him for that. His whole performance was amazing! Didn’t think he’d speed up the tempo. I never seen this side of Danny G. Im diggin it. Its getting close to him yelling a lot of it. He’s so safe it’s ridiculous!

4. Michael Sarver- As much as I wanted him to suck it, he was alright. He hit some notes I didn’t think he could. The judges were ambivalent towards him at best. Should’ve been a trainwreck, instead it was only mildly boring. But he’ll be safe.

5. Jasmine Murray- Ms. LISA Tucker 2009! She sang a more obscure MJ song, and it was average again. But she hit some impressive notes. She’s not as bad as LT was at this point in season 4.  Best part were the last notes of the song. SHES SAFE.

6. Kris Allen- Remember the TIME?? ATTA BOY! Liked it a lot. Thought the guitar was a little unnecessary.  And Simon was right… Should NOT have mentioned the wife sooo soon. It’ll hurt him later on.

7. Allison Iraheta- I don’t remember the title of this song, but she ripped it! It was one of his more smooth sexy songs, and she tore it up!  SHES SOOO SAFE its not even funny.

8. Anoop Desai- OOOH ANOOP! OOOOH ANOOP! WHY OH WHY!!! I was very letdown by him. He was one of my favorites to at least go on tour

9. Jorge Nunez- Not interested at all. He might be one of the 2 going home tonight.He’s a latin Clay Aiken. He’s this years Jasmine Trias. Done and Done. So he’ll be safe.

10. Megan Joy Corkrey- ROCKIN ROBIN??! Really?? She looked hotter than ever. Love her sleeve more and more every week.  Terrible song choice, but she sang it like she sings every songs. This was hella karaoke.

11. Adam Lambert- Wow. He did things I have never heard any other idol even attempt! I thought this was the most explosive performance in quite sometime on an uptempo song like that. OH HE IS SAFE LIKE A MOTHA F***A!

12. Matt Giraud- BRINGING THE SOUL BACK!!! Way to go singing Human Nature. Back on the keys my man! Way to go! I wish that they would have spent less time talking about Adam L performance and more time on how good Matt G did. Simon said at one point “Too bad you had to go after Adam.” HE’S SAFE!

13. Alexis Grace- Dirty Diana. Nice choice. I think Allison couldn’t sang the shizzy out of this song. And Simon had the best dime of the night. “It wasn’t good as you thought it was.” She’s safe though. Unless her phone snafu sends her home!

Who might going home:

Scotty Mac.

Jorge.

Anoop.

Jasmine.

Alexis Grace if her phone number situation messes up.