The finale LIVE-BLOG! by Stephani <3

Out of courtesy to my West Coast readers, I delayed posting until now. You’re welcome.

[I'm watching this on Tivo so the times would not be accurate. So I will be updating with bullet points.]

Here we go…

- Opening montage of Kris vs. Adam from last night. Cue dramatic freeze-frames, spotlights, overpraise from the judges and Ryan Seacrest doing what he does best.

- Adam and Kris in white! Love them. SO sexy.

- Kimberley Locke and Janice “Muppet Face” Dickinson are in the audience!

- 100 million votes, kiddos… Ryan’s voice just cracked at that insane number.

- Randy Jackson is dressed like a black Howdy Doody. I wish I was kidding. Cue montage of him saying “for me, for you” over and over AND OVER AGAIN in his judging.

- New judge Kara DioGuardi and a montage of her patronizing habit of calling bad auditioners “sweetie” and/or “honey”. I hate people who do that.

- Paula “Vicodin and vodka” Abdul and a montage of her using freaking SAT words. Are you guys NOW convinced that bitch reads from a script?? Was she ever this articulate before? No.

- Simon looks bored. But here’s a weird montage of him saying “what?” over and over again. I don’t get it.

- Helloooo Carrie Underwood. Nice prom dress.

- Some fix Kris’ mic please. Oh wait, Adam’s is all wonky too. This show rakes in how much money and they can’t get this right?

- Oh hai Mikalah Gordon in Conway, AR. Why is this bitch on my TV and why is she interviewing a three year old?

- The less also-ran Carly Smithson is in San Diego for Adam’s crowd… she’s less annoying than she was last year, somehow.

- OMG “So What” from Pink! I can’t help but love this song… and I am completely amused at the lack of the “I guess I just lost my husband” line. I think this is the first and last time we’ll ever hear the word “tool” on this show in that context. Megan looks bored, Scott looks lost, Adam and Allison look rawker, Jorge is running around the stage, and Michael is pointing at me. Oh look, Jasmine got a mini solo. I almost forgot about her. And Alexis is finally wearing pants.

- Hello David Cook… singing his new single “Permanent” in honor of his recently deceased brother. I think he wore this outfit on Mariah Carey night last season. Either way, I love him… this is a beautiful song. There’s nothing but raw emotion here. I wonder if the black armband he’s wearing is for his brother?

- Hello Justin Guarini and Michael Johns. Two guys I thought were super hawt in their respective seasons.

- Golden Idols! This always turns out to be full of LOLs.

- Okay, other than Norman Gentle, I don’t remember any of these guys… “I’m staying… I AM STAYING….” *cue molestation of the Idol logo* “Takes one to know one, sassy pants!” Oh I loved him. And Norman Gentle wins the Golden Idol… says he doesn’t even have a speech planned… uh huh… and OFF comes the clothes and here he is in his super random Norman Gentle attire… for whatever reason, this never gets old for me.

- Has anyone ever laid down on the Idol steps before?? Nice shoutout to the “lady in the purple shirt”…

- Lil Rounds and Queen Latifah duet. Nothing interesting to see here… no really. That was incredibly boring.

- Anoop and Alexis are starting in on the amazing “I’m Yours” by Jason Mraz…. and hello, Mr. Mraz. Weird facial hair aside, I effing love this guy and want to do him. The three of them sound really quite fabulous together. And with the rest of the finalists, I think this may be my most favorite finale group sing… or at least in the top three.

- The journey of Kris Allen… was quite a journey indeed. These montages always make me get all teary eyed… Smokey loved him, Jamie Foxx loved him, Kara said he was a dark horse. And don’t even get me started on all of his adorable shocked faces when he advances to a bigger level. I heart him.

- Kris is singing with Keith Urban… not gonna lie, this song does absolutely nothing for me.

- The ladies are singing the popular about two years ago “Glamorous“… and lordy, is Megan the worst sounding contestant the top 12 has ever seen? Because I can find NO redeeming factor in her voice.

- I’m so over Fergie and the Black Eyed Peas. Seriously dudes. I love her heels, but I hate this song. Allison is wearing THE cutest dress, though.

- Another Golden Idol for “best attitude” or some crap… featuring Bikini Skank, methface girl and some other freak… and Bikini Skank wins and comes on stage in another bikini and OMG HELLO FAKE TITS. Simon even said “wow”. And he’s jaded.

- “I was gonna ask you what’s new, but I think I know.” Oh Seacrest, how I love you. You earn that insane paycheck.

- Skank is butchering Mariah again like she did in her audition… somewhere Mariah is like “oh HELL NO”.

- Well hello Kara… I don’t like you, but you sound a hell of a lot better than Bikini Skank, who does not look thrilled at being upstaged. In the audience, David Cook approves.

- I love that Allison is singing a slowed-down acoustic version of “Time After Time” with Cyndi Lauper. I still don’t believe she’s 17. This is probably the most spot-on duet in a number of seasons.

- Kris’ parents are so freaking adorable. Although Mama Allen really shouldn’t be wearing that dress. Adam’s parents look a little more “city”… but still adorable.

- Danny Gokey sings “Hello” by Lionel Richie and all I can think is “I miss David Cook.” Man, Lionel has aged really well. As much as I love his songs… this has to be the cheesiest duet EVER.

- The screams for Adam were WAY louder than those for Kris.

- Adam’s journey on Idol as set to “Viva la Vida”. And I don’t know but I think Adam has invested in some serious ProActiv since his audition. God he’s bloody sexy.

- Okay, anyone who still thinks Adam is straight after seeing him in this ensemble is freaking blind. It looks like “The Crow” mated with “Rocky Horror Picture Show”.

- OMG KISS! Do I really need to say more?? Other than the fact that Adam is completely holding his own with these guys…

- Hello Carlos Santana… I think this is the closest thing Matt will have to a solo tonight, which is no bueno. And now all the Idols are decked out in red and black singing “Smooth“. Adam and Kris pull off the sexy, while Jorge and Gokey make a worthy attempt. Looks like Alexis is back to not wearing pants. Allison and Adam are so BFFworthy together. I love that blind Scott is making more of an effort than Megan is. I’m seriously worried he’s about to fall off the stage.

- This Ford video shows even more that Adam and Kris are the best top two EVAH.

- Scruffy looking David Cook surprises the dudes with their own new Ford Fusion, and both guys know what’s going on pretty much immediately.

- Steve Martin and his completely random banjo skills join Megan and Michael in a duet. Wow, Michael is making me forget that I never liked him. He sounds great here, and he’s so freaking adorable too. Aww.

*cue quote from “Armageddon”*

“And this is the best that you – that the government, the *U.S. government* can come up with? I mean, you’re NASA for cryin’ out loud, you put a man on the moon, you’re geniuses! You’re the guys that think this shit up! I’m sure you got a team of men sitting around somewhere right now just thinking shit up and somebody backing them up! You’re telling me you don’t have a backup plan, that these eight boy scouts right here, that is the world’s hope, that’s what you’re telling me??”

- The guys are completely unconvincing while singing “If You Think I’m Sexy“… except Kris and Adam. Man, did we EVER pick the right two out of that group of dudes. Stop riffing, Matt. I love that Adam’s glory note drowns out everyone else.

- Damn, Rod. You’re sounding rough. Like, REALLY rough. Dig the used car salesman jacket.

- One last Golden Idol award! Oh hey Tatiana Del Toro. I’m pretty sure that “batshit crazy” is too nice of a description for you.

- I am still trying to figure out of this is scripted. I seriously have NO IDEA. Ryan told Tatiana not to come on stage but she does anyway, followed by two unsuccessful stage hands. If this is staged, Ryan deserves an Academy Award, because I honestly have no idea if it is or not. LOL at Ruben in the audience looking scared and/or confused.

- “Both are victorious.” Best description ever. Kris and Adam’s duet on “We Are The Champions” … I think this is always the part of the finale that makes me all emotional…. WELL HELLO THERE QUEEN! Gokey, THIS is how you duet. Even though Adam is more bombastic, it’s still a duet and not a showdown. They truly respect and care about each other, and that’s so much fun to watch.

- And here we go to the actual results… Simon tells the guys they’re both brilliant, incredibly nice people and should be proud of what they’ve achieved.

- KRIS ALLEN WINS! The finalists all look incredibly thrilled, Adam swoops him up in a huge hug. Kris is basically like, “are you freaking kidding me?” and continues to be speechless and humble and … oh wow, Simon is definitely NOT standing for Kris.

- Oh geez, does Kris really need to sing this crap song? Can’t he sing “Falling Slowly” or something? Oh well… he looks so adorable and overwhelmed. I can safely say that this is the first season of Idol where the winning Idol was someone I never once envisioned actually WINNING. But I couldn’t be more thrilled. Congrats Kris. <3

- And on a final note… Jorge has gotten a LOT of face time tonight! You go, Puerto Rico.

the “other dude” as your American Idol? I think it’s possible.

Here’s why Stephani thinks Kris will win tomorrow night.

This has been a very disjointed season. We’ve had a new judge, a “Judge’s Save” that was used more for the purpose of boosting ratings and creating drama, a top 13 and an unprecedented switch to the old semi-finals format. One would say, after the success of season 7, if it’s not broke why fix it? But with a top 2 unlike anything Idol has really ever seen, maybe it all makes sense.

The semi-finals were a wash. It was scripted to a T. We knew who the producer’s favorites were – the three who got pimp spots at the end of each round. Bloggers around the country were predicting by and large a Danny, Adam and Lil final 3. The “wild card” round was stacked to the brim with even more producer faves, including Anoop, Matt Giraud, Megan Joy and Jasmine. All four of which got through without a hitch.

In fact, one could argue that if Jasmine and Matt hadn’t chosen Sara Bareilles and Coldplay, respectively, on round 2 night, Kris and Allison wouldn’t even be a glimmer in the Idol fanbase’s eye. They were not pimped. We barely saw their auditions and their work in Hollywood. I mean, for the love of God, Kris sang a freaking Michael Jackson song, and Allison sang a song Carrie Underwood completely owned in season 4. Yet, they got through from the votes of the American public – surely, we saw something the producers [and, likely the test audiences] didn’t see, right?

Of course we did.

Allison, at a shockingly young age, did what Diana DeGarmo couldn’t do in season 3 – showed maturity and grit to back up her flawless vocals. Her performances of “Papa Was a Rolling Stone” and “Give In To Me” showed that she was probably a 40-year-old hard-lived groupie in a previous life. Kris, as cute and harmless as he seemed, busted out some intense chops and emotion when he nailed “To Make You Feel My Love” and “Ain’t No Sunshine” early on.

Don’t get me wrong, amidst all this, Adam was shocking the nation - his “Ring of Fire” was watercooler fodder for weeks and his subdued “Tracks of My Tears” had the songwriter, the immortal Smokey Robinson, on his feet and overwhelmed with emotion. His “Mad World” earned a standing O from the man who rarely even applauds for the contestants.

Meanwhile, Lil floundered on the big stage and finally fizzled out, whereas Danny’s smugness and inability to bring relevance and artistry to the Idol stage brought his inevitable boot at top 3, when most of the world had ultimately accepted the fact that he’d be in the final 2 with Adam, as it was predicted on top freaking 13 night by Paula [script much?].

But here we have Kris, who, against every Idol roadblock in the book, has made top 2 and – gasp! – has a really, REALLY good chance at winning. He’s the quintessential underdog. There’s been no arc planned for him. He’s doing what Elliott Yamin and Jason Castro failed to do – he has survived this, and he has only improved.

With all thsoe pesky non-singing ability factors in play [i.e. the Red State vote, the Christian vote, the "cute guy" vote] as well as his improvement, I think he’ll win. And as a fan of the underdog, I couldn’t be happier.

D-Lew’s recap of MJ Night on IDOL.

In the immortal

words of The Dells

“Oh, What a Night”

The Idols put on one helluva Karaoke session, mixed with some real singers.

I had an initial mix of excitement and worry with the theme of this week being Michael Jackson!

How I want to remember him.

My first suggestion for the rest of the shows:

THE JUDGES SHOULD

BE SITTING

AT THE BEGINNING

OF THE SHOW!!!

Them being introduced was as awkward as Sanjaya

girl crying when Sanjaya hit the stage. Never

again.Lets have them sitting as always.

Next suggestion:

THE JUDGES SHOULD

JUDGE IN THE

SAME ORDER

EACH TIME!

When Simon DOES not go last, it is blasphemous.

We all wait to see what Simon thinks of the performance. Randy will say his usual Dogg-ness, Kara will either hate or love their CHOPS. Paula will be Paula and make a little bit of sense. (She has been dropping the word Sexy a little more loosely this year…) But Simon is the only one that actually has something constructive to say. Or at the very least is excrutiatingly honest. EXCEPT during the MJ episode, where he liked Scotty Mac a little too much, or when he was proverbially sucking off Adam after Black and White.

LETS START THE RECAP

Randy says this is the first time that any of the top 13 can win it! WTF!?!?!?!!! ARE U INSANE. AMERICAN IDOL MICHAEL SARVER. YEAH FUCKIN’ RIGHT!!! And why are both Kara and Paula allowing their accessories on their dresses molest their necks.

Nice montage of Michael. They have ignored late 90’s to now MJ. Good choice there. I don’t need to see Blood on the Dance Floor MJ

1. Lil Rounds- Apparently Lil Rounds took dressing tips from Kara and Paula… Hated what she was wearing. She sang The Way You Make You Feel. Very Karaoke. Nothing special. But I knew throughout the whole performance that the judges will be in love with everything she does. And the judges do love it. But its all very generic. But she’s SAFE for sure.

2. Scotty Mac. AKA DJ Blind Boy- Can’t they throw on some glasses on Scotty Mac???! He’s an okay singer. But not a finalist. I don’t remember this song. Didn’t like anything about that performance. The judges are going to love it…. and it will be annoying. At least Simon was honest and said it was okay. HE MIGHT BE IN TROUBLE.

3. Danny Gokey!- The first real performance of the night!! He sang P.Y.T. and nailed it! His dancing was over the top, but he was just in the moment. Can’t fault him for that. His whole performance was amazing! Didn’t think he’d speed up the tempo. I never seen this side of Danny G. Im diggin it. Its getting close to him yelling a lot of it. He’s so safe it’s ridiculous!

4. Michael Sarver- As much as I wanted him to suck it, he was alright. He hit some notes I didn’t think he could. The judges were ambivalent towards him at best. Should’ve been a trainwreck, instead it was only mildly boring. But he’ll be safe.

5. Jasmine Murray- Ms. LISA Tucker 2009! She sang a more obscure MJ song, and it was average again. But she hit some impressive notes. She’s not as bad as LT was at this point in season 4.  Best part were the last notes of the song. SHES SAFE.

6. Kris Allen- Remember the TIME?? ATTA BOY! Liked it a lot. Thought the guitar was a little unnecessary.  And Simon was right… Should NOT have mentioned the wife sooo soon. It’ll hurt him later on.

7. Allison Iraheta- I don’t remember the title of this song, but she ripped it! It was one of his more smooth sexy songs, and she tore it up!  SHES SOOO SAFE its not even funny.

8. Anoop Desai- OOOH ANOOP! OOOOH ANOOP! WHY OH WHY!!! I was very letdown by him. He was one of my favorites to at least go on tour

9. Jorge Nunez- Not interested at all. He might be one of the 2 going home tonight.He’s a latin Clay Aiken. He’s this years Jasmine Trias. Done and Done. So he’ll be safe.

10. Megan Joy Corkrey- ROCKIN ROBIN??! Really?? She looked hotter than ever. Love her sleeve more and more every week.  Terrible song choice, but she sang it like she sings every songs. This was hella karaoke.

11. Adam Lambert- Wow. He did things I have never heard any other idol even attempt! I thought this was the most explosive performance in quite sometime on an uptempo song like that. OH HE IS SAFE LIKE A MOTHA F***A!

12. Matt Giraud- BRINGING THE SOUL BACK!!! Way to go singing Human Nature. Back on the keys my man! Way to go! I wish that they would have spent less time talking about Adam L performance and more time on how good Matt G did. Simon said at one point “Too bad you had to go after Adam.” HE’S SAFE!

13. Alexis Grace- Dirty Diana. Nice choice. I think Allison couldn’t sang the shizzy out of this song. And Simon had the best dime of the night. “It wasn’t good as you thought it was.” She’s safe though. Unless her phone snafu sends her home!

Who might going home:

Scotty Mac.

Jorge.

Anoop.

Jasmine.

Alexis Grace if her phone number situation messes up.

Top 13 Predictions!!!

The show is airing on the west coast in just under two hours.

Here’s my quick predictions as to what Michael Jackson songs each contestant will be singing tonight.

Michael Sarver-As much as I would love to see this guy sing Don’t Stop til You Get Enough. But I don’t think thats going to happen. Im going to guess that’ll he’ll be the one to sing That Girl is Mine.

Scotty Mac- Heal the World. He’ll make it through with the sympathy vote.

Jasmine Murray- This young lady who may suffer from Lisa Tucker syndrome. She may flame out on the big stage. And she will be singing the ballad Ben.

Adam Lambert- I can’t decide if he’ll do fast Mike or slow Jam Mike. I would love to see him rock to The Way You Make Me Feel. But then again I think he would be able to sing She’s Outta My life (but that will probably go to Danny Gokey)
Danny Gokey- I think this kid is going to do awesome tonight. Either with Shes Outta My Life. But at the same time, he may do You Are Not Alone and have a moment.

Anoop Dogg!- I know this guy, if he wants to stay will have to do a fast jam. I think he’ll go Remember the Time

Matt Giraud- Definitely ballad. maybe a soulful version of Beat It.. That could be a moment.

Megan Jo Corkrey- I dont care what she sings. I just know for a fact, that her arms will shake, and I will stare at her tattoo. Because I think her tattoo might be better than last years plant. You know who!!

Lil Rounds- Shes going to have a bomb performance. And I think shes going ballad. But I can’t figure out which one she’ll do.

Kris Allen- He already did Man in the Mirror, and did it well. So I think he might step up the tempo. Which will probably be a mistake. So he might actually do Dont Stop til you get enough… Well see.

Allison Irhaeta- Love this chick! She can sing any MJ song. Im absolutely juiced for her. Who knows…

Jorge Nunez- He has to do Ben. or Heal The World. Because he is absolutely cheesy. He may even sing some of the lyrics in spanish!

Alexis whatshername???- I’ve already forgotten her since the semifinal round allows ONE fuckin’ performance!!!!! So she’ll sing her ass off!!! Maybe Smooth Criminal!?!??

Alright here we go. Im about to watch it!!! Stay tuned! FOR MY RECAP BLOG!!!! ALSO MRS. STEPHANIE SHOULD HAVE HERS UP SOON!!

HERE WE GO!